Friday, August 13, 2010

The Return of the Premier League




Well, in true Ambitious Effort form we've decided to post an article at the last minute when we had about 10 weeks to prepare. The being said, it shall be noted that the following will have been written before the league starts and, lets be honest, will be totally irrelevant by January.
But on to it all, in alphabetical order:

Arsenal
Wenger has brought in two French Liguers, Marouane Chamakh (Bordeaux) and Laurent Koscielny (Lorient). Fab4Life has described Chamakh as a "more skillful Bendtner" where Koscielny is a relative unknown. However, the Gunners most importantly kept captain Cesc Fabregas chained to his bed so that he could not escape to Barcelona. There is also the return of Robin Van Persie who had 7 goals in 11 league appearances before ankle ligament damage ruled him out most of the season. However, Arsenal is starting with injuries to Bendtner, Song, and Diaby and undoubtedly will experience many more throughout the season as they always do. Even if they secure Mark Schwazer in goal they are very error prone in the net. While they do play admirable football, I see Arsenal slipping this season, especially with the growing strength of the other Top 4 contenders. Verdict: 5th

Aston Villa
Man oh Man do the Villans have some problems to deal with. This week manager Martin O'Neil walked out of the club, probably because of a lack of funds for transfers. Owner Randy Lerner claimed him of being too pompous for the club, and Villa players texted each other pictures of champagne bottles. Drama aside, Villa are going to struggle compared to their last three sixth place finishes. No one has come in and James Milner is most likely going to Man City. There are many theories as to who will take over, and no one knows what will happen if that man is Bob Bradley. Verdict: 10th

Birmingham City
Villa's midland rivals had a great maiden voyage last season and would be happy for a repeat performance. They recruited the towering but unimpressive Serbian Nikola Zigic from Valencia to add a different dimension to their attack, but quality has dropped off between the sticks as loanee Joe Hart has been replaced by Man United reject Ben Foster. Birmingham will no longer be underestimated, but their defense no longer has a young savior behind them. Verdict: Somewhere between 9th and 13th

Blackburn Rovers
Nothing profound here. Them of the two tone jerseys will spend most of the game clogging the midfield and getting 16 men behind the ball. Their midfielders will spend most of the time on offense watching their defenders booting the ball up front and chasing behind it just waiting for something lucky. Big Sam Allardyce will accomplish his status quo of mid to low table survival. Verdict: 11th to 14th

Blackpool
You gotta admire these guys. They qualified through the Championship playoff from 6th place, their fans are ecstatic, and their stadium only seats 12 thousand plus change. This EPL adventure will generate much needed revenue to renovate Bloomfield Road and we may see them again in a few years. And surely manager Ian Holloway will provide some gems in media interviews. Verdict: Relegated in 20th place

Bolton Wanderers
God how I used to loathe Bolton. Now that Owen Coyle is in charge and they can actually pass the ball, they aren't nearly as despicable. Fans at the Reebok Stadium must be confused to not watch the ball sailing forward aimlessly all the time. Martin Petrov is a good free pick up and will certainly not disappoint if he stays fit. Bolton should get through the season safely without too many surprises. Verdict: 11th to 14th

Chelsea
The Blues have only gotten stronger. They lost Deco, Carvalho, Ballack, Joe Cole, and Belliti, but replaced them with Yossi Banyoun (Liverpool), Ramires (Benfica), and the return of Michael Essien. Keeping it short, I don't see anyone outrunning Chelsea all the way into May. They have an advantage in that if lower teams try to kill their passing and muscle them around (like against an Arsenal or whatnot), the Pensioners will fight fire with fire, albeit theirs bigger, more skillful, and much much much more expensive. Verdict: Champions

Everton
The Merseysiders are all about achieving much while spending little. They've gambled in bringing in Jermaine Beckford from Leeds (a third tier side), but Joao Silva is a proven talent and would bring creativity into the attack and is a good partner for Saha. David Moyes's biggest accomplishment in the transfer window was keeping his most prized assets (i.e. Rodwell, Fellaini, Arteta). Everton have the quality to beat any of the big guys, but can't consistently beat the little ones to move up the table. Verdict: 7th but close to everyone

Fulham
Out with Roy Hodgson, in with Mark Hughes. Fulham has brought no one in but this time around wont be jetting around Europe, exhausting themselves. Craven Cottage will most likely be another tough ground to get points away but the Cottagers away form will make or break them. Lets just hope for some more amazing Clint Dempsey goals. Verdict: 9th

Liverpool
A bad season, loads of debt, the fat Spanish Waiter leaving, and speculation over Gerrard and Torres leaving had me thinking Liverpool could be the new Newcastle. Alas, Roy Hogdson came in and coaxed his stars into staying in addition to adding Joe Cole, Christian Poulsen, and Milan Jovanovic and bringing back Fabio Aurelio (and three of those four were for FREE!). Roy Hodgson knows how to get the best out of his players and Joe Cole has looked a rejuvenated man in preseason and Europe qualifiers. However, Liverpool is entirely independent on Steven "Couldn't make an 8 yard pass last year" Gerrard and Fernando "The only thing I do better than score is get injured" Torres and have no real goal scorers outside the two. Joe Cole will pitch in a few and Dirk Kuyt will run 10 miles every game at full sprint and score when you least suspect it, but you can't make a Top 4 run if your back up striker is a guy named David N'Gog. Verdict: 6th, probably thanks to some winter blues

Manchester City
These guys. Look at who they've bought: Boateng, the other Toure, Silva, Kolarov, Balotelli. Its like my FIFA manager shopping list. Milner is likely on the way and who knows who else. Someone must tell Gary Cook and Roberto Mancini that only 11 players are allowed on the field. They also can only name a 25 man roster, meaning many are on the way out in a fire sale, notably Bellamy, Santa Cruz, Caicedo, and Ireland. If Man City can get things to click early, they will be a force. Too bad you cant just throw a team together. Mancini knows he faces the axe if results don't come, but I think the Citizens might finally get it together. I can see them in a post New Years rampage (with that carries them up the table higher than ever. Verdict: 2nd

Manchester United
On the red half of Manchester, Sir Alex Ferguson seemingly has them in a sort of rebuild period with many talented youngster coming through. Scholes, Neville, and Giggs only have so much left in their legs. Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez looks a good signing and kills me that he is Mexican and I cannot hate him. He may lift a small load from Rooney's shoulders on offense. United face one of their harder seasons as of recent but will pull the results they need to stay near the top as always. Verdict: 3rd

Newcastle United
The Magpies are back. Newcastle was promoted as Colaship Champions on first try with ease and I'm glad to see them back in the Prem. They picked up Sol Campbell and Dan Gosling for free and have a fairly strong squad to start. Campbell will shore up the defense and proved his worth with Arsenal last term despite his age, while Gosling will inject youth and energy into the midfield. This season may start the spell of some good years ahead for Newcastle, as long as bad boy Joey Barton shaves his mustache. Seriously, that thing is gross. Verdict: 11-14th

Stoke City
The Potters brought in Kenwyne Jones to help them score from more throw-ins. James Beattie left so manager Tony Pulis wouldn't beat him up in the showers again. Verdict: 15th-17th

Sunderland
The Black Cats brought in a good defender, John Mensah, and a blooper machine, Titus Bramble. Just saying the name aloud make me thinking of a man getting nutmegged and falling down. Danny Welbeck is a good loan signing from Man Utd. Who knows which Sunderland will show up for each game. I'm sure Steve Bruce wonders the same thing before going to bed. Verdict: 13th-16th

Tottenham Hotspur
After cracking the Top 4 last season, Spurs have not added any reinforcements (young Brasilian Sandro was secured in Spring but wont arrive till after the Copa Libertadores in a week), though 'Arry Redknapp will surely be wheeling and dealing before the close of the transfer window. Nice striker Loic Remy is one of the names floating around. The feeling around White Hart Lane is one of optimism and confidence, and Spurs may just put together another fine season. Gareth Bale and Tom Huddlestone have matured and improved greatly; a healthy Modric and Lennon will cause trouble for any defense. At home they were a real force but they must improve away form. It also hurt to lose twice to Wolves, and dropped more points at home with a loss to Stoke and a draw with Hull. Another season under Redknapp will hopefully make games like those just ghosts of Hotspur past. Verdict: 4th

West Bromwich Albion
The last of the newcomers, West Brom play good, passing football and I hope they stay true to it in the Prem. A lack of funding and squad depth has me seeing them scrapping in a relegation battle but they might be able to come out alive. Verdict: 17th and relegated or maybe 16th. Could come down to goal differential.

West Ham
I'm one of few people to expect big things from the Hammers. Avram Grant is very knowledgeable of the English game and has kept Carlton Cole, Scott Parker, Matthew Upson and Robert Green out of the hands of others. The new chairmen have brought Thomas Hitzlsperger, Freddy Piquionne, Pablo Barrera and Tal Ben-Haim (to name a few) to Upton Park. Energy is high in east London, plus West Ham have some sick away kits. Verdict: 8th

Wigan
Easily the most inconsistent team: they beat Chelsea 3-1 in September but lost to them 0-8 in May. They lost 1-9 to Spurs in November but came back from 0-2 against Arsenal and scored three in the last 15 minutes in April. Roberto Martinez needs his team to get something going but it is going to be tough. Verdict: 17th, possible relegation.

Wolverhampton Wanderers
Somehow Mick McCarthy kept his boys up last season but I don't think it will continue. They strengthened the midfield with Stephen Hunt (Hull) and Steven Fletcher (Burnley) but results like winning two over Spurs are going to be hard to come by. Verdict: 19th, relegated.

So there you have it. As we embark on another journey full of amazing goals, controversial calls, predictions gone wrong, heart break, and joy, only one the remains constant: God I love football.

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