Regular toilets not good enough for Maradona

Maradona's face after using the bidet.

Argentina coach Diego Maradona has requested an expensive renovation of his bathrooms at the Argentina WC base camp in Pretoria. Apparently regular toilets are not enough for Maradona and two high-end bidets have been installed. As Wikipedia puts it, a bidet "washes and cleans the genetalia, perineum, inner buttocks, and anus." So Diego likes to have water shot up his ass and balls after he goes potty. Interesting.

So while Maradona's bathroom habits seem unusual, what is even more ridiculous is that his private suite has two bathrooms. Two bathrooms, one coach, which leaves us wondering WTF mate?! Maybe one is for waste excretion and one for coke usage and bidets make good nose cleaners. You know I couldn't get through a Maradona article without reference to his favorite white powder.

These aren't no ordinary bidets though; a man who wipes with the Hand of God needs the assistance of front and rear water nozzles, plus the luxuries of a heated seat and a warm-air blow-dryer. I must be old fashioned, but my toilet accessories are the comics for reading and some Charmin Ultra.

Also in the Daily Mail article are some interesting tid-bits about some teams requirements:

• Argentina has some pretty specific food demands
• Brasil requires their pool be maintained at exactly 32 C (89.6 F)
• Mexico has their own priests for service. No word on if the priests are bringing their own little boys or tapping into the resources of the locals.
• The Italians are bringing their own pasta from Rome (well, duh!)
• New Zealand wants golf lessons for the All Whites
• Those greedy Slovakians have requested not one, but two ping pong tables and an electronic dart board. They're so spoiled they can't even score their own darts games.

But none of them will have underparts as clean as Maradona's.