Ambitious Effort

Che Gol: Pirlo

2010-10-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, Andre Pirlo did again. The 31-year-old Milan midfielder, he of the wolf-mane and double swerve free kick action (here he is again starting it bending left before it tails right), floated a 40 yard attempt into the upper corner of Parma's net this weekend.

We'll just let the video do the talking:

Not bad considering he did not score once last season. It was so amazing it cause the ligaments in Ronaldinho's wrist to go numb. Goals from this range are usually blasted as hard as possible in the hopes of swerving in. Not so for Il Metronomi, who used his mastery control of the ball and the time-space continuum to guide it in.

The Idiosyncracies of Ibra

2010-09-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

After recently scoring two goals within three minutes in Wednesday's Champions League Match against Auxerre, it would seem all is well for Zlatan Ibrahimovic and AC Milan. However, recent evidence from the Milanello training groud suggests otherwise. In the unusual clip, Ibra is shown giving a vicious boot to the side/shoulder of Milan midfielder and Ambitious Effort favorite Rodney Strasser. The promising youngster was less than amused to say the least, leaving one to wonder why exactly Ibra lashed out in such a manner. While his motives remain unclear, one thing is for certain, Ibra is insane in the membrane.

Serie A Week 1 Review

2010-08-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

After writing several previews, it's nice to be able to discuss results on the pitch rather than dealings in the transfer market. While some games were much more exciting than others, there was plenty of noteworthy action and surprising results to report on. I'll try to make it a habit to report on the games each week, focusing on matches featuring the big four of Juve, Roma, Inter and AC Milan, and any other especially interesting matches or goals.

To begin, we go to the Stadio Olimpico in Rome where AS Roma faced off against newly promoted Cessena. Myself and thousands of other Roma fans were no doubt expecting a goalfest to start the season, but it wasn't to be, despite the best efforts of captain Francesco Totti. Roma began the match playing their typical, flowing football, but it didn't produce any early goals, which allowed a determined Cessena defense to settle in. With Daniele De Rossi, Mirko Vucinic, and Simone Perotta notably off their games, Roma became very stagnant on offense, resulting in an extremely boring match that ended in a 0-0 draw.

Roma was not the only side that struggled in week 1, as Juventus fell on the road to Bari, who have only been in Serie A for one season. They nevertheless have managed to cobble together a decent squad, and have great fan support, as 45,00 packed the Stadio San Nicola for the match. While Juve had several high quality chances throughout the match, the winner game from Bari's Massimo Donati, who crushed a left footed strike from outside the box past the helpless Storari in goal just before the halftime interval.

By far the most entertaining and attacking match of the weekend occurred at the San Siro in Milan, where AC Milan took on newly promoted Leece. This game was much more typical of what one would expect when a recent Serie B team plays a perennial Scudetto contender. From the start, Milan was on their A game, particularly Pato and Ronaldinho, no doubt wanting to impress their new teammate Zlatan Ibrahimovic who was in attendance alongside president Galliani and owner Berlusconi. Once Pato opened the scoring, Milan looked world class, as even their missed chances left me stunned at their brilliant buildup. Ronaldinho looked incredibly active and fit, even racing back on numerous occasions to steal the ball back from unsuspecting Leece players. To top it all off, the announcing on espn3.com was hilarious, as they paired the usual announcer with some former Serie A player whose English was admittedly better than my Italian, but nowhere near good enough on TV. His analysis was never more than a sentence long, came in a thick accent, and hard to be heard to be truly appreciated (aka laughed at). For example, my favorite quote which was repeated after the goals; "Look that". But don't take my word for it, check out the highlight video below for those who like awkwardness or just like to make fun of wops (you know who you are). Unfortunately even the match highlights don't do Milan's performance justice, as the chances created by Milan were so numerous they seriously should have put in at least 8 goals. Nevertheless, Enjoy.

While I promised the review would focus on the matches and not transfer talk, today's deals came so fast and furious that they simply have to be discussed. Just when you thought Milan had made the biggest coup of the transfer window by buying Ibrahimovic, they scooped up Robinho at the last second from Manchester City from 18 million euros. For now, I'm just happy that another incredibly talented attacking player has joined the squad, meaning Milan now has a strike-force to rival any outside of Barcelona. While this surely means lots of exciting highlights, it still leaves Milan with an extremely unbalanced squad and the potential for lots of playing time issues amongst the four star attackers, but I'll wait and see how it plays out on the pitch before I start being negative. For now, I simply want to enjoy the fact that my favorite team replaced Marco Borrielo (Roma) and Klass Jan Huntelaar (Shalke) with Robinho and Ibrahimovic. With these new "champions in red and black, only two thoughts come to mind; Scudetto, and see me in Fifa 11. Anyways, back to the review.

The final game of the weekend saw Inter travel to Bologna, in a rare Monday match in Serie A. Considering the struggles of Roma and Juve, perhaps it wasn't as big a surprise that Inter also struggled mightily, as they could only muster a 0-0 draw. Most of the match was a yawner similar to the Roma game, but it picked up near the end, as Inter poured on the pressure, most notably with an Eto'o volley that went off the keepers head and off the post. Either way, it seems that new manager Rafa Benitez has his work cut out for him to replicate the treble winning ways of his predecessor, Jose Mourinho.

Thus, with week one completed, the headline grabbers are undoubtedly AC Milan. Not only do they lead the table thanks to their 4-nil thrashing of Leece, but they have pulled off the biggest transfers of the summer, buying both Ibrahimovic and Robinho for less than market value thanks to player unrest and some good timing. While it would have been nice to see Milan improve the defense instead of the attack, I'm going to enjoy the exciting transfers for the time being rather than worry about how Allegri will possibly manage the huge egos that now occupy the Milan locker room. The league doesn't play again for two weeks due to an International break, but I'll leave you with some upcoming fixtures and plans to review each weeks' matches. Ciao.

Saturday 9/11 Udinese at Inter
Saturday 9/11 Milan at Cessena
Saturday 9/11 Roma at Cagliari
Sunday 9/12 Juventus at Napoli

AC Milan Preview 2010/11

2010-08-28T16:16:00.001-07:00

After finishing a disappointing third in Serie A last season, Milan players and tifosi look optimistically toward a new season, unfortunately, I'm here to tell you that there is little reason for optimism....

This was the opening sentence of the preview I was working on this week, and then the mini-miracle happened: Zlatan Ibrahimovic officially became an AC Milan player. Suddenly the off-season went from being lame and sad to awesome and exciting. Ibrahimovic is without a doubt one of the top five strikers in the world, and just one year ago was considered the world's best. However he simply did not fit into Barcelona's style and was not needed once the team bought David Vila to replace him. Thus, by some odd combination of a Milan-Barca friendly, the persistence of Adriano Galliani, the insanity of Ibra's agent, and the willingness of Berlusconi to open his checkbook, Ibrahimovic will join AC Milan this season. And in case you had forgotten how good he is, check out this video.

Now off to the preview.

While the acquisition of Ibrahimovic makes the team much more formidable, they will not be a threat to win the Champions League, unlike the memorable teams of recent seasons that featured Shevchenko, Maldini and Kaka among others. Why you ask? For one, Ibrahimovic might not be of much help, as he has not been able to carry any squad to Champions league glory, and particularly struggled while playing for Inter, for whom he could seemingly never score in the biggest games. But the larger issue is that the Milan squad is still an extremely old and brittle one, especially when one stops and recollects on those Champions league squads I mentioned. The memories aren't quite so good once you realize that many of those who starred along Sheva and Kaka are still starting for Milan and are now on the wrong side of 30, Pirlo, Gattuso, Ambrosini, Seedorf, and Nesta. When most of those names make up a staring midfield in 2010, the problem with today's Milan is obvious; the team is simply too old. Experience can only get a squad so far, in this case, not much further than last seasons exit against Manchester United. Not only are the players old, but they inevitably tend to break down, most notably Pirlo and Nesta, who is currently injured (broken hand), and will likely be out for a slew of games this season, which hopefully will never lead to Massimo Oddo playing center back ever again. (Apologies to all who had found a way to forget that had ever happened)

On the subject of Oddo and the defense, the ancient Giuseppe Favalli has finally been put out to pasture, which means I will never again have to wonder if he was simply going to keel over and have a heart attack or stroke while chasing down Samuel Eto'o. Still, while Oddo and Jankulovski are the reserve outside backs, Milan can still be suspect to terrible defensive displays like the one that happened against Man U last season.
For a squad that is as old and constantly injured as Milan, the summer transfer window had been terribly frustrating up until very recently. The only significant signing had been of Greece international defender Sokratis, who can be used as either an outside of a center back, yet would likely not start if everybody was somehow fit at the same time. Thankfully, things spiced up last Tuesday, Milan officially signed Ghana international and World Cup star (sorry America) Kevin Prince-Boateng, henceforth referred to here as KPB. The deal was an unusual one, as KPB had signed with Genoa from cash-strapped Portsmouth, but apparently cheeky Genoa never had any intention of playing him. Because they were able to sign him for so cheap, they opted to loan him to Milan, with an option to buy at season's end, at a tidy profit for Genoa of course. All this nonsense begs the question of why Milan simply didn't buy KPB from Portsmouth in the first place, but the transfer market is a crazy place that I seem to be forever trying to comprehend. But If Milan got hoodwinked by Genoa in the deal, why is it good news? Well if you watched Ghana play in the World Cup, which you obviously did if your reading this blog, then you already know why the signing is exciting news in Milan.

Simply put, KPB is exactly what Milan need, as he is everything their current midfield is not; young, fast, athletic and creative. While he has a bit of a bad locker room reputation, the veteran presence in the San Siro locker room should be able to keep his ego in check, hopefully allowing him to flourish as he did for Ghana, by being a physical, creative presence who is equally capable of controlling the midfield or scoring off a powerful run as he did against the America (dammit, sorry again). If the loan and potential buy of KPB works out like I think it will, Milan will be a much more exciting team to watch this season, and for years to come.

Similar to KPB, the Ibrahimovic deal will be a godsend for Milan. The deal calls for him to be loaned from Barcelona, with an option for Milan to buy him for just 24 million euros at the end of the season. This is a paltry sum to pay, as Barca paid 60 mill for him PLUS Eto'o just one year ago! Bad for Barca, lucky for Milan. Say what you will about Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi, but the man is clutch, especially considering that he will be paying Ibra's significant wages for the next 5 seasons after a previous unwillingness to spend any money in the transfer market due to a poor global economy. Ibrahimovic should fit nicely into Milan's lineup, replacing Marco Borrielo in the starting 11, meaning when everyone is healthy he will play up top next to Alexandre Pato with Ronaldinho underneath, easily forming the most formidable attacking trio in Serie A. If this 4-3-1-2 formation sounds different than the 4-3-3 of last year, there's a reason for it.

The likely change in formation comes from the new coach, Massimiliano Allegri, who replaces Leonardo after only one season at the helm. Allegri most recently was the coach for Cagliari, where he led a squad with little talent to some very respectable finishes. However, Allegri was shockingly let go by the squad after last season, after which he was quickly scooped up by Milan, who were looking for a more experienced Italian manager after parting with the inexperienced Leonardo. It is impossible to tell how Allegri will handle the step up to a huge club such as Milan, but early indications are that it will be a smooth transition.

With the major signings now complete, the question is how much can only three new pieces help a team that limped to a third place league finish last season? The answer, quite a bit, as Ibrahimovic in particular seems to have quite a talent for single-handedly winning Serie A matches. Consider this little fact; the team that Ibrahimovic plays for has won its league title every season since 2005. He has won with Juventus, Inter, and then Barcelona. Say what you want about the mercurial striker, but his teams win, and its often because his talents help his team to snatch three points in those random February games when nobody is paying any attention. Until recently I had no hope for Milan this season, but with my anticipation level now through the roof, I'll attempt to make a logical and reasonable prediction. My vote; Milan finishes second to Inter this season, as they will drop too many points early in the season trying to fit in Ibrahimovic and adjusting to the new style of Allegri. By now you know the drill, time for a highlight video. It will come as no surprise then that it's all about Ibra. Enjoy.

AS Roma 2010/11 Preview

2010-08-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

Roma Roma Roma. Three words says it all. What a city, what a team. As you can tell I'm a bit of a fan. But with that in mind, I'll try to keep my preview as objective as possible.
Coming off a spectacular season in which they were neck and neck with Inter for the Scudetto thorough the last game, Roma enter the new campaign with heightened expectations. Led by the usual Gladiators Francesco Totti and Daniele De Rossi, the Giallorossi are hoping that this will finally be the year they break through and claim the top prize. Being a supporter of Roma myself, I hope they are right, but I just don't see it happening, especially when one considers the tremendous run they had last season, and the lack of big transfer moves this summer.
The majority of Roma's team has been intact for the past couple seasons, which has no doubt aided in their notably impressive team chemistry. Yet as always, there have been some comings and goings in la citta eterna. Lets take a look.
Departures:
Marco Motta-Juventus: The young and talented right back has a very promising future, making his departure a puzzling one. Apparently Roma are satisfied with the efforts of Marco Cassetti at the position, thus making Motta surplus to requirement. However, it should have been clear that Cassetti is not a long-term solution, and that he was often the team's weakest link last season.

Luca Toni-Genoa: I will miss the goofy hand to ear celebrations of the Italian oaf, but not miss his affect on the teams play. While he did score some very important goals late in the season, he also managed to miss a smorgasbord of chances while disrupting the flow of Roma's excellent passing. With Toni in the squad, the giallorossi somehow thought they were suddenly supposed to change tactics and dump long balls into an out of shape Toni, despite the fact that slick passing to the feet of Mirko Vucinic and Jeremy Menez was usually more than enough to dismantle any weak Serie A defense. Needless to say, I'm glad his loan deal ended and he was not re-signed.

Arrivals:
Nicolas Burdisso-Inter: Just signed today, Burdisso is a huge coup for Roma. The Argentine international defender was perhaps the biggest reason for Roma's success last season, as his versatility in defense was crucial to a back line that regularly has either Juan or Mexes missing with injuries. The player was desperate to move back to Rome once his loan deal ended, and he was finally signed at a good value with a four year deal and a 8 million euro transfer fee.

Adriano-Flamengo: The troubled yet talented striker returns to Italy, where he found great success with Inter several seasons ago, yet subsequently failed to ever reproduce on the same level. Problems with alcohol, weight, and Brazilian drug lords (seriously) have plagued him throughout his career, so needless to say I'm not optimistic about the move. His troubles continued recently when a recent practice saw coach Claudio Ranieri screaming at him to get moving and stop being so lackadaisical in his approach. There is a small chance he finds a way to put his troubles behind him and become a great striker again, but I just can't see how this would ever happen, other than the uber-intense De Rossi locking him in a room and threatening to cut his balls off with a machete if he doesn't shape up.

As you can see, Roma has done much less in the market than other squads so as Juventus. This will likely leave them at a disadvantage for the upcoming season, as Roma seem content with themselves while every other major squad have improved, at least on paper. Perhaps the continuity in Roma's team can lead them to glory at the Stadio Olimpico this year, but it's more likely that Roma will see a dip in the standings, as I'm predicting a fourth place finish for the Romans. The only way for this to be avoided is for Totti to stay healthy for an entire season, and Adriano to not be so lazy, but there's probably a better chance that De Rossi actually will kill Adriano. On that random note, I'll once again leave you with a great video featuring El Capitano; the master of the flowing hair, the free kick, the volley, and most importantly, the chip: Francesco Totti.

Inter Milan 2010/11 Preview

2010-08-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

Some things change while others stay the same. Although excessively simple, this statement sums up the upcoming season for Inter Milan. While the squad is virtually unchanged from the team that won the treble last season, there is one glaring difference, no Jose Mourinho. The "Special One" has moved on to coach the Galacticos of Real Madrid, in an apparent bid to win the Champions League with top teams from each European nation. Good luck in Ireland Jose.
Replacing him is the familiar and often hated Rafa Benitez, who has coached Liverpool since I started watching European football, which admittedly hasn't been that long, but an impressive spell for a manager of a top (Ahem) flight club.
For those who have been hittin the peace pipe a little too hard of late, I'll refresh your memories by kindly reminding you that Inter won the Scudetto, Coppa Italia, and Champions League last season, mostly behind the efforts of incredible signings such as Diego Milito, Wesley Sneijder, and Lucio. How Inter ever managed to buy three of Europe's top players while spending at least a hundred million less than Real Madrid I'll never understand, but as much as I hate them, they deserved to win everything that they did last season. The remaining question then, is can they replicate the success of last season, with their only significant signing being Brazilian starlet Coutinho, who won't even start. My answer; yes but I'll go on a limb and say there won't be another treble.
Say what you will about Rafa Benitez, but the man has had an incredible amount of success in the Champions League. And with the roster that Inter has, it would be incredibly foolish to not consider them one of the favorites again this season. In addition, Inter has had a stranglehold on the Scudetto of late, as they have won it since 2005 when they were awarded the title as a result of them being unscathed (for now) in the Calciopoli scandal. With all this evidence swirling around, it's hard to see why they won't repeat in Serie A and in Europe, but a new coach and added pressure makes me think that Inter simply won't be able to repeat on two fronts, and at some point will have to chose which competition to put an added emphasis on.
Other than the return of defender Nicolas Burdisso from loan with Roma, the main move of the summer for Inter was the sale of volatile striker Mario Balotelli to Manchester City. The move made sense on many levels, especially considering that Super Mario no longer wanted to play there, and that they got good value for him. While Balotelli may become one of Europe's premiere strikers in 5 years, it simply wasn't going to happen in an Inter shirt.
With Balotelli shipped off to England, there's simply not any drama or interesting subplots with Inter, other than they're coming off one the greatest seasons in club history. Because Inter will return the best defense in Europe, they are my pick to win the Scudetto once again. In addition, they should be very successful once again in the Champions League. I know I'm not the only one who wants to see a rematch with Barcelona, or the inevitable battle vs. Real Madrid and Mourinho. Thus, with the thought of tasty Champions League clashes fresh on the mind, I'll leave you with highlights from last seasons treble winning campaign. Damn I hate Inter.

Juventus 2010/11 Preview

2010-08-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

Despite the bold predictions of a first place finish by a certain Ambitious Effort contributor that may or may not have been myself, Juventus had an extremely disappointing season last year, finishing in seventh place with a miserable 55 points. With their poor performance, they find themselves in the Europa instead of the Champions League, and have few experts predicting them to be much of a threat to the scudetto this season. While I agree with the assumption that they won't win it all, I believe that the Bianconeri will be much improved this season, as I think they have made the best off-season moves in the Transfer window. Before discussing the new arrivals for Juve, I'll cover the departures.

Fabio Cannavaro-Al-Ahli: The legendary center back is now way past his prime, leading to his departure to the Middle East for continued riches. While Juve fans no doubt appreciate all that he has done for the squad over the years, no one is mad he is leaving this time, unlike when he ditched the team in '06 after the scandal which saw the team relegated to Serie B.

Sebastian Giovinco-Parma: This is the one move that left me shaking my head. I am one of the atomic ant's biggest fans, and it was always frustrating to see him riding the pine when he always seemed to bring much needed enthusiasm, skill and speed to Juve's attack. But management was clearly disappointed with his development, selling him to Parma, where he should be able to flourish with the lessened competition for places in the starting 11.

Cristian Poulsen-Liverpool: The midfielder had a sisspaoint and forgetbale spell in Turin, and does not merit further discussion.

Arrivals: Luigi Del Neri-Sampdoria: With their disappointing finish last season, Juve where in the market fora news manager, and they found a winner in Del Neri, who led Sampdoria to a top four finish last season. If he can continue his success at a big club like Juventus, their fans may not have to wait long for a return to the glory days of the mid 2000's

Simone Pepe-Udinese: The Italian international winger was loaned to Juve with an option to buy. In my mind, they could have simply put Giovinco into the wing position that Pepe will surely occupy, but if they play a 4-4-2 as favored by Del Neri, Pepe is capable of tracking back consistently to help the defense.

Marco Storari-AC Milan: With Gianluigi Buffon injured to start the season, Storari will be the man between the posts. This was a great buy, as he made spectacular saves for Milan in every game I saw him play. Having a legit backup is important for Juve, as Buffon seems to miss more and more matches with each passing year.

Marco Motta-Roma: Another great buy sees Juve acquire the best young Italian right back. Roma was apparently satisfied with Marco Cassetti at the posistion, allowing Motta to move to Turin, where he will no doubt help to shore up a position that has been weak for Juve recently.

Leonardo Bonucci-Bari: Yet again Juve strike gold as they get the best upcoming defender in Italy. Bonucci helped Bari have one of the leagues best defenses last season, and at 23 he should be able to partner Giorgio Chiellini in defense for another decade, a depressing thought for any Serie A attacker.

Milos Krasic-CSKA Moscow: This recent buy did not come cheap, with Juve spending 15 million Euros on the winger, albeit in installments over the years. I was not impressed with the Serb during the World Cup, but then again his whole team was disappointing, so perhaps I'll withhold judgment until I see how he is used and adjusts to a new league.

Alberto Aquilani-Liverpool: It's official folks, Aquilani's short stint in England has already ended in failure as he was loaned to Juve today with an option to buy at the end of the season for 15 million euros.
Considering that Liverpool bought him for 20 only a year ago as the man to replace Xabi Alonso, the loan move shows both how bad of a move Liverpool made and how poor and perpetually injured Aquilani was. Admittedly, I am a huge Aquilani fan as he was always around for some thunderbolt strikes when I watched AS Roma matches at the Olimpico two years ago. Seriously watch this video. He's the most under-appreciated striker of a football in the world. However, he will only be a success with Liverpool if he can stay healthy for a consistent amount of time, something that he has always had trouble doing. Either way, Juve just got an extremely talented midfielder, for the price of on the house this season. Don't be surprised when it's midseason and everybody is talking about the resurgence of the Old Lady of Italian Calcio. It'll have been because of all the work their front office has put in this summer.

With so many new arrivals in Torino, it will be interesting to see how the chemistry of the team is affected. On second thought, the team chemistry was terrible last year, so there is nowhere for the team to go but up. The new signings were all smart buys, but I thought the same thing last year about Deigo and Felipe Melo, and we all know how that worked out. All things considered, I'm predicting a third place finish for Juve, as I don't think a strikeforce of Amauri, David Trezeguet and the ancient magician Alessandro Del Piero will be good or healthy enough for them to win the Scudetto.

And to end with, here is the best Juventus video I could find with only one minute of research. Enjoy.

Throwback Thursday-Ronaldo

2010-08-18T21:20:00.000-07:00

Throwback Thursday was an early favorite of mine from this blog, and recent events have inspired me to bring it back. While normally this spot is reserved for retired stars, this weeks throwback is Ronaldo; no not the Portuguese prima donna who is constantly bangin Hollywood skanks, but the original, Brazilian version, who is legendary not only for his un-paralleled talents on the pitch during the 90's and early 2000's as he is for his near obese and transvestite bangin ways of late. While most of us have been fortunate to see him in action for teams such as Inter Milan, Real Madrid and of course the Brazilian National team, his skills and stats are far greater than you realize. Thus, I'll leave you with some of his remarkable statistics, and then a video that shows a player simply too good to be true, ...except it is, and its the same 33 year old man that you see above with the beer belly of a 50 year old redneck from the Dirty South.
1994-95 30 goals in 33 appearances with PSV Eindhoven
1995-96: 12 goals in 13 appearances with PSV
1996-97: 34 goals in 37 appearances with Barcelona
1997-98: 25 goals in 32 appearances with Inter Milan
1998-99: 14 goals in 19 appearances with Inter Milan
1999-01: Missed nearly all of both seasons with the first of several devastating knee injuries
2001-02: 7 goals in 10 appearances with Inter Milan
2002-03: 23 goals in 31 appearances with Real Madrid
2003-04: 24 goals in 32 appearances with Real Madrid
2004-05: 21 goals in 34 appearances with Real Madrid
2005-Present: Scoring slowly declines as he gets repeatedly injured and steadily gains weight
Brazil National Team: 62 goals in 97 appereances
World Cups: Holds the all-time record with 15 goals in three World Cups, spanning from 1998-2006

Despite the ridiculous consistency of his goal scoring throughout Europe and International competition, the following video is evidence that goalscoring was not even his greatest skill.

The Return of the Premier League

2010-08-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

Well, in true Ambitious Effort form we've decided to post an article at the last minute when we had about 10 weeks to prepare. The being said, it shall be noted that the following will have been written before the league starts and, lets be honest, will be totally irrelevant by January.

But on to it all, in alphabetical order:

Arsenal

Wenger has brought in two French Liguers, Marouane Chamakh (Bordeaux) and Laurent Koscielny (Lorient). Fab4Life has described Chamakh as a "more skillful Bendtner" where Koscielny is a relative unknown. However, the Gunners most importantly kept captain Cesc Fabregas chained to his bed so that he could not escape to Barcelona. There is also the return of Robin Van Persie who had 7 goals in 11 league appearances before ankle ligament damage ruled him out most of the season. However, Arsenal is starting with injuries to Bendtner, Song, and Diaby and undoubtedly will experience many more throughout the season as they always do. Even if they secure Mark Schwazer in goal they are very error prone in the net. While they do play admirable football, I see Arsenal slipping this season, especially with the growing strength of the other Top 4 contenders. Verdict: 5th

Aston Villa

Man oh Man do the Villans have some problems to deal with. This week manager Martin O'Neil walked out of the club, probably because of a lack of funds for transfers. Owner Randy Lerner claimed him of being too pompous for the club, and Villa players texted each other pictures of champagne bottles. Drama aside, Villa are going to struggle compared to their last three sixth place finishes. No one has come in and James Milner is most likely going to Man City. There are many theories as to who will take over, and no one knows what will happen if that man is Bob Bradley. Verdict: 10th

Birmingham City

Villa's midland rivals had a great maiden voyage last season and would be happy for a repeat performance. They recruited the towering but unimpressive Serbian Nikola Zigic from Valencia to add a different dimension to their attack, but quality has dropped off between the sticks as loanee Joe Hart has been replaced by Man United reject Ben Foster. Birmingham will no longer be underestimated, but their defense no longer has a young savior behind them. Verdict: Somewhere between 9th and 13th

Blackburn Rovers

Nothing profound here. Them of the two tone jerseys will spend most of the game clogging the midfield and getting 16 men behind the ball. Their midfielders will spend most of the time on offense watching their defenders booting the ball up front and chasing behind it just waiting for something lucky. Big Sam Allardyce will accomplish his status quo of mid to low table survival. Verdict: 11th to 14th

Blackpool

You gotta admire these guys. They qualified through the Championship playoff from 6th place, their fans are ecstatic, and their stadium only seats 12 thousand plus change. This EPL adventure will generate much needed revenue to renovate Bloomfield Road and we may see them again in a few years. And surely manager Ian Holloway will provide some gems in media interviews. Verdict: Relegated in 20th place

Bolton Wanderers

God how I used to loathe Bolton. Now that Owen Coyle is in charge and they can actually pass the ball, they aren't nearly as despicable. Fans at the Reebok Stadium must be confused to not watch the ball sailing forward aimlessly all the time. Martin Petrov is a good free pick up and will certainly not disappoint if he stays fit. Bolton should get through the season safely without too many surprises. Verdict: 11th to 14th

Chelsea

The Blues have only gotten stronger. They lost Deco, Carvalho, Ballack, Joe Cole, and Belliti, but replaced them with Yossi Banyoun (Liverpool), Ramires (Benfica), and the return of Michael Essien. Keeping it short, I don't see anyone outrunning Chelsea all the way into May. They have an advantage in that if lower teams try to kill their passing and muscle them around (like against an Arsenal or whatnot), the Pensioners will fight fire with fire, albeit theirs bigger, more skillful, and much much much more expensive. Verdict: Champions

Everton

The Merseysiders are all about achieving much while spending little. They've gambled in bringing in Jermaine Beckford from Leeds (a third tier side), but Joao Silva is a proven talent and would bring creativity into the attack and is a good partner for Saha. David Moyes's biggest accomplishment in the transfer window was keeping his most prized assets (i.e. Rodwell, Fellaini, Arteta). Everton have the quality to beat any of the big guys, but can't consistently beat the little ones to move up the table. Verdict: 7th but close to everyone

Fulham

Out with Roy Hodgson, in with Mark Hughes. Fulham has brought no one in but this time around wont be jetting around Europe, exhausting themselves. Craven Cottage will most likely be another tough ground to get points away but the Cottagers away form will make or break them. Lets just hope for some more amazing Clint Dempsey goals. Verdict: 9th

Liverpool

A bad season, loads of debt, the fat Spanish Waiter leaving, and speculation over Gerrard and Torres leaving had me thinking Liverpool could be the new Newcastle. Alas, Roy Hogdson came in and coaxed his stars into staying in addition to adding Joe Cole, Christian Poulsen, and Milan Jovanovic and bringing back Fabio Aurelio (and three of those four were for FREE!). Roy Hodgson knows how to get the best out of his players and Joe Cole has looked a rejuvenated man in preseason and Europe qualifiers. However, Liverpool is entirely independent on Steven "Couldn't make an 8 yard pass last year" Gerrard and Fernando "The only thing I do better than score is get injured" Torres and have no real goal scorers outside the two. Joe Cole will pitch in a few and Dirk Kuyt will run 10 miles every game at full sprint and score when you least suspect it, but you can't make a Top 4 run if your back up striker is a guy named David N'Gog. Verdict: 6th, probably thanks to some winter blues

Manchester City

These guys. Look at who they've bought: Boateng, the other Toure, Silva, Kolarov, Balotelli. Its like my FIFA manager shopping list. Milner is likely on the way and who knows who else. Someone must tell Gary Cook and Roberto Mancini that only 11 players are allowed on the field. They also can only name a 25 man roster, meaning many are on the way out in a fire sale, notably Bellamy, Santa Cruz, Caicedo, and Ireland. If Man City can get things to click early, they will be a force. Too bad you cant just throw a team together. Mancini knows he faces the axe if results don't come, but I think the Citizens might finally get it together. I can see them in a post New Years rampage (with that carries them up the table higher than ever. Verdict: 2nd

Manchester United

On the red half of Manchester, Sir Alex Ferguson seemingly has them in a sort of rebuild period with many talented youngster coming through. Scholes, Neville, and Giggs only have so much left in their legs. Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez looks a good signing and kills me that he is Mexican and I cannot hate him. He may lift a small load from Rooney's shoulders on offense. United face one of their harder seasons as of recent but will pull the results they need to stay near the top as always. Verdict: 3rd

Newcastle United

The Magpies are back. Newcastle was promoted as Colaship Champions on first try with ease and I'm glad to see them back in the Prem. They picked up Sol Campbell and Dan Gosling for free and have a fairly strong squad to start. Campbell will shore up the defense and proved his worth with Arsenal last term despite his age, while Gosling will inject youth and energy into the midfield. This season may start the spell of some good years ahead for Newcastle, as long as bad boy Joey Barton shaves his mustache. Seriously, that thing is gross. Verdict: 11-14th

Stoke City

The Potters brought in Kenwyne Jones to help them score from more throw-ins. James Beattie left so manager Tony Pulis wouldn't beat him up in the showers again. Verdict: 15th-17th

Sunderland

The Black Cats brought in a good defender, John Mensah, and a blooper machine, Titus Bramble. Just saying the name aloud make me thinking of a man getting nutmegged and falling down. Danny Welbeck is a good loan signing from Man Utd. Who knows which Sunderland will show up for each game. I'm sure Steve Bruce wonders the same thing before going to bed. Verdict: 13th-16th

Tottenham Hotspur

After cracking the Top 4 last season, Spurs have not added any reinforcements (young Brasilian Sandro was secured in Spring but wont arrive till after the Copa Libertadores in a week), though 'Arry Redknapp will surely be wheeling and dealing before the close of the transfer window. Nice striker Loic Remy is one of the names floating around. The feeling around White Hart Lane is one of optimism and confidence, and Spurs may just put together another fine season. Gareth Bale and Tom Huddlestone have matured and improved greatly; a healthy Modric and Lennon will cause trouble for any defense. At home they were a real force but they must improve away form. It also hurt to lose twice to Wolves, and dropped more points at home with a loss to Stoke and a draw with Hull. Another season under Redknapp will hopefully make games like those just ghosts of Hotspur past. Verdict: 4th

West Bromwich Albion

The last of the newcomers, West Brom play good, passing football and I hope they stay true to it in the Prem. A lack of funding and squad depth has me seeing them scrapping in a relegation battle but they might be able to come out alive. Verdict: 17th and relegated or maybe 16th. Could come down to goal differential.

West Ham

I'm one of few people to expect big things from the Hammers. Avram Grant is very knowledgeable of the English game and has kept Carlton Cole, Scott Parker, Matthew Upson and Robert Green out of the hands of others. The new chairmen have brought Thomas Hitzlsperger, Freddy Piquionne, Pablo Barrera and Tal Ben-Haim (to name a few) to Upton Park. Energy is high in east London, plus West Ham have some sick away kits. Verdict: 8th

Wigan

Easily the most inconsistent team: they beat Chelsea 3-1 in September but lost to them 0-8 in May. They lost 1-9 to Spurs in November but came back from 0-2 against Arsenal and scored three in the last 15 minutes in April. Roberto Martinez needs his team to get something going but it is going to be tough. Verdict: 17th, possible relegation.

Wolverhampton Wanderers

Somehow Mick McCarthy kept his boys up last season but I don't think it will continue. They strengthened the midfield with Stephen Hunt (Hull) and Steven Fletcher (Burnley) but results like winning two over Spurs are going to be hard to come by. Verdict: 19th, relegated.

So there you have it. As we embark on another journey full of amazing goals, controversial calls, predictions gone wrong, heart break, and joy, only one the remains constant: God I love football.

England robbed again.

2010-08-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

Not hours ago in the internationally friendly between England and Hungary, the Three Lions were again robbed by a goal line decision. In this case, the ball clearly did not cross the line before Michael Dawson slid to clear it and Hungary was awarded a goal. Look at the picture below; the blue circle represents the ball's most advanced position.This is a disgrace!! An outrage!! The integrity of the game is disappearing as we know it! Of course it was just a friendly and England went on to win 2-1 thanks to amazing goals by captain Steven Gerrard, one a trademark rocket and the other requiring a bit of dancing.

However, one thing is for sure regarding goal-line technology: it is only a matter of time (hours) before the English press clamors onto the band-wagon and demands it like zombies demanding brains.

There were, of course, other things to be taken from this ill-scheduled friendly. For one, the Wembley pitch held up well aka it wasn't performing like an ice-skating rink. Good news considering it is to host the Champions League final this season.

It was good to see youngsters getting some chances. Joe Hart has seemingly locked down the No. 1 shirt as he deserves. Adam Johnson showed off his cannon of a left foot and was unlucky not get a goal. Kieran Gibbs and Ashley Young performed a young speedy duo down the left flank that cause all sorts of problems.

Assistant coach Stuart Pierce was decked out in what can only be described as a school girl outfit from an erotic film. (In this photo you can barely see his short-short with long white socks combo.)

And, most importantly, it reminds us that the Prem is only three days from opening. More on that later.

Frank Lampard Replaced by Hello Kitty

2010-07-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

Man, we are so lazy that we couldn't even wrap up the World Cup at all and we haven't posted in three weeks. Granted, there is not much going in the summer besides a buttload of transfer rumors and those silly preseason friendlies. But still, we have no excuse.

However, a story has come along that has awoken us from our summer slumber. Chelsea's England star Frank Lampard is being melted down to form a new, golden super-footballing cartoon character: Hello Kitty. Well, almost.

As it says in The Sun, 5000 24-carat gold Frank Lampard Signature Edition iPod Touches have gone unsold and are being melted down to be remade in to special edition gold Hello Kitty iPods.

The Sun quotes a TV source as saying:

"They thought loads of people would want them during the World Cup but the backlash against England was so bad that they've had to scrap the whole thing."

Right, it couldn't be selling poorly because a poor world economy has forced people to think twice before spending £599 on a gold music player endorsed by a guy who doesn't play any music. Apparently even manufacturers of precious metal mp3 players are affected by Lampard's goal that never was against Germany.

Also, if you look at the article on the Sun website (linked above), the picture of the back of said iPod reads "4-500" most likely meaning only 500 were made. Quality reporting from The Sun (as always) saying 5,000 are being recycled when most likely its a tenth of that number.

At least Lamps was trying to raise money for the Teenager Cancer Trust with the iPods, and has already made an upfront donation. Its unfortunate the new profits will go to such a shady character like Hello Kitty, who will probably just use it to feed her catnip addiction.

Germany v Spain

2010-07-06T19:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a game this is going to be. This rematch of the Euro2008 final (which Spain won with a first half Fernando Torres goal) features a possession-heavy La Roja versus a high-flying Die Mannschaft. Two years ago the team from Iberia proved their superiority, but while they have remained essentially the same, the Germans are younger and playing to the beat of Jurgen Klinsmann's drum (which was, of course, passed back to Jogi Low in 2006).

The historical playing styles of these two countries seem to be reversed. Spain has prevailed in their last three games by only a goal, whereas Germany thrashed England and Argentina by scores of 4-1 and 4-0, respectively. Die Mannschaft has played arguable the most entertaining football of any team in the tournament, moving quickly from back to front and finishing with ruthless efficiency (those last eight goals came from 13 shots on target).

Spain has been up to their usual business, patiently knocking the ball around the midfield and defense until their opponent's defensive shell shows its weaknesses. Spain will look to reach their first ever World Cup final, but they first must break down Germany's defense.

Here are a few key elements of tomorrow's game:

As mentioned, Spain will need to crack open the German defense, and they certainly wont be able to do it aerially.
The absence of Thomas Muller. One of Germany's young starlets, the gangly, seemingly uncoordinated winger has four goals and three assists but is suspended thanks to another soft and undeserved yellow card.
Midfield battle. Its Schweinsteiger and Sami Khedira versus Xavi and Xabi Alonso. Sergio Busquets might be tasked with containing German no. 10 Mesut Ozil, which is no small task as the young playmaker will pop up all over the pitch all game.
Fernando Torres. He has been god awful in every game and Spain's offense only seems to come alive when he is subbed off. Will Vicente Del Bosque gamble on him miraculously finding form? Or leave his rusty legs on the bench in favor of Pedro or David Silva and move David Villa to striker.
Who scores first. If Germany strike first, they will be able to absorb Spain deeper and hit harder on the counter attack. Vice versa, Spain will patiently knock the ball around and the Germans will spend a lot of energy winning it back and be forced to pressure high up the pitch, exposing their back line. Whoever finds the net first will most likely win this encounter.
The pressure. The Spaniards are notorious for faltering under high expectations and are hoping they shook off that monkey two summers ago. Germany, ever a tournament team, have it in their blood to perform at this stage; they've reached the final in four of the last seven Cups.

If this semifinal is as good as today's, we're certainly in for a treat. Germany doesn't mind sharing the ball whereas Spain treats it like the last ball on earth. Two Golden Ball potentials, Miroslav Klose (4) and David Villa (5), have prolific records with their national sides and a nose for big games and certainly will not be taking their foot off the gas now. Nothing says a World Cup semifinal like two countries with such pedigrees, and it is very hard to predict a winner. That being said, my gut says Germany, even though Paul the octopus says otherwise. While the cephalopod seems to have crushed the hopes of his home country, German fans can find solace because, although he has been correct until now, for the last Euro final he incorrectly picked Germany over Spain--that was the only game he got wrong.

Oranje Final

2010-07-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

One thing is for sure: we are going to have and all-Euro final which means that finally they will win a World Cup away from their home continent. The perennial homebodies finally sucked it up.

Netherlands beat Uruguay today 3-2 in a thrilling semi-final. This means that Luis Suarez, he of red card, goal-line saving, really-not-that-big-a-deal-it's-not-cheating-it's-deliberately-breaking-the-rules-everything-was-done-to-the-T-and-Gyan-shouldn't-have-missed-that-penalty fame will not get to play in the final. All those complainers, whiners, moaners, and sissies can finally shut up about how he should be given a further ban, or be castrated, for his African-hope-killing sending off in the quarterfinals. (This was me addressing the topic without wanting to waste time on a full article. Steve McManaman said there's nothing wrong with Suarez's play, and he once fought his own goalkeeper.)

The scoring was opened with a 41-yard thunderstrike from captain Geo Von Bronkhorst that will most likely be the goal of the tournament, unless some one scores a bicycle kick from outside the box or something just as ridiculous.

Diego Forlan provided a bit of magic before half with a swerving, left-footed equalizer that bent enough to wrong-foot Stekelenburg from 30 yards out.

Overall, the Oranje looked impressive, but not dominating. Many times they gave the ball away cheaply in the midfield. Van Persie, who did not have a great game anyway, looked isolated up top. Usually they are Clockwork Oranje, but the gears didn't always looked meshed as they moved the ball up field as they ground out a win.

On the positive side, the Dutch were very strong in the back. The first goal was a result of giving a marksman like Forlan too much space. The second, coming in stoppage time, was a result of an over-committing young winger (Eljero Elia, though he anticipated the short free kick well) and a good finish that somehow went through a sea of bodies.

In addition, the Dutch will be at full strength on Sunday. Nigel De Jong, who inexplicably only picked up two yellows in five games, returns to the midfield. His replacement, Demy De Zeeuw, well hopefully remember who he is by Sunday after getting his brain scrambled and mouth bloodied by a bicycle kick to the face from Martin Caceres. Gregory Van der Wiel also is back from suspension. Whichever left-sided player they face in the final will be happy not to face Khalid "The Cannibal" Boulahrouz.

The second goal was lucky but well-deserved. When you have that much attacking talent, goals are inevitable. They must find their fluidity if they want to be crowned champions.

The Netherlands is now in their third final (1974 and 1978) and may just finally achieve what they haven't been able to do in their illustrious history. They will have to overcome bitter rivals Germany, or a slick-passing Spanish side that will also be looking for their first Cup.

But first they must find a place to stay.

Uruguay v. Netherlands Preview

2010-07-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

After watching nearly all of the games in South Africa thus far, I'm having a hard time believing that the WC Semi-Finals are already upon us. But I shouldn't be, this is how the WC always is; short, sweet and full of surprises. This year is no exception with Uruguay facing the Netherlands in tomorrows Semi-Final in Cape Town. It will be the first semi for Uruguay since 1970, having won the whole thing way back in 1950, and 1930. The Dutch return for the first time since 1998, having never won the whole thing, making them perhaps the best footballing nation never to win the Cup.

But enough about boring history, as no current player had anything to do with the previous tournaments, except possibly for Dutch defender Andre Ooijer, aka father time. It comes as a surprise to many that both squads have made it this far, with Uruguay having to face Costa Rica in a playoff just to reach the tournament and the Dutch beating the legendary Brazilians in their previous match. Yet neither side will be content with their success, being so close to the finals. Just because Uruguay are lucky to be here, doesn't mean they'll go down without a fight, we all know they'll use all kinds of crazy, desperate, and intelligent ways to advance.

Speaking of which, neither team will be at full strength tomorrow, due to suspensions and injuries. The Dutch will miss central midfielder Nigel de Jong and right back Gregory van der Wiel to yellow card suspensions, but the good news is that central defender Joris Mathijsen will likely return from his knee injury to replace the aforementioned Ooijer. While the absences of de Jong and Van der Wiel will be tough to replace, the situation looks much more grim for Uruguay.

First, the obvious; star striker Luis Suarez will miss out due to his handball that saved Uruguay and helped them reach the match in the first place. Also suspended is defender Jorge Fucile, while Nicolas Lodeiro is out with a broken foot. However, perhaps the biggest worry of all for Uruguay is captain and defender Diego Lugano, who has been one of the tournaments most outstanding players to this point. The Fenerbahce man went out early in the Ghana match with a knee strain, and will be a game time decision. The problem is that even if Lugano is fit enough to try and play, any slight problem with his knee at a crucial moment will be all it takes for the likes of Arjen Robben or Wesley Sneijder to take advantage and put one in the back of the net. While it will not be portrayed as such, the untimely injury to Lugano is the key to this match, and will no doubt aide in the flying dutch attack.

While the Dutch attack led by Sneijder has been strong, the play of Dutch keeper Maartin Stekelenburg has been stellar as well, particularly in his last two matches. In a short tournament such as the WC, the in-form players are usually enough to take their team though, particularly if the squad is the more talented one. Thus, I see no reason as to why the Netherlands will fall to Uruguay in Cape Town. They have two players on top of their game, and an embarrassment of attacking riches with which to break down the Uruguay defense, who have been terrific thus far. While the absence of the tough tackling de Jong will really hurt the Dutch midfield, the absences of Suarez and possibly Lugano will be far too much for Uruguay and their star Diego Forlan to overcome. The Uruguayans should be applauded for a terrific tournament thus far, but it won't be enough, as I expect the Dutch to tough out a 2-nil win, and march on their way to Johannesburg for the final on the 11th.

Quarterfinals, Part I

2010-07-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

Seven games from now, we will have crowned a new world champion at the 2010 FIFA World Cup from South Africa (eight if you count the consolation match). Only eight teams remain, and South American is strongly represented with a team in each quarterfinal game. Europe's three best teams, the Dutch, the Germans, and the Spaniards, will be trying to halt the Latin America onslaught. (Side note, thinking that France or Italy would be here or that England or Portugal was a European favorite is just ludicrous.) Ghana is still Africa's last hope and certainly wont just lie down.

Tomorrow first game is Brasil v Netherlands in Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium. The afternoon features Uruguay and Ghana at Soccer City in Jo'burg.

Brasil v Netherlands:

RGaucho-Brazil over Netherlands 2-1

Brazil's win over Chile was very impressive to me, as it was the first time I was able to fully appreciate Gilberto Silva and his continued stellar play for Brazil protecting the back four. In addition, Lucio and Juan are playing spectacular positional defense, making it seem as if a very dangerous and skilled Chile attack had no chance of scoring. Thus, I'm picking Brazil to beat the Netherlands because of their superior defense. In their previous match, the Dutch allowed several stellar scoring opportunities for the Slovakians, which will come back to haunt them against Fabiano and Brazil. Look for Brazil to soak up a lot of pressure against the fearsome Dutch attack, displeasing joga bonito fans everywhere, but allowing Brazil to defend and score several quick goals, sending Dunga's men into the semis.

cornezinho-Brasil over Netherlands 2-0.

As good as the Dutch have looked, they've no really faced a worth adversary and have yet to spark to life. Waiting until you meet Brasil is not a good time to try and light the fire. Both teams play a 4-2-3-1 with fullbacks flying up the wings, holding midfielders to protect the back line, and one out-and-out striker supported by wingers and a free man beneath him. Brasil only has to worry about Michel Bastos (who plays forward for Lyon) containing the quick-footed Arjen Robben. However, by now everyone HAS to know that Robben is only dangerous when cutting into the left and shooting with his favored foot. Push him wide with the help of Gilberto and make him cross; Lucio and Juan will gobble up the skinny Robin Van Persie. The only thing left to worry about is a moment of brilliance from the mercurial Wesley Sneijder. As mentioned above, the Oranje defense has been porous to teams such as Japan and Slovakia, so how will they handle Robinho, Kaka, and Luis Fabiano? Position by position the Dutch are equaled or over-matched, especially in goal, at right back, and center back, and their attack looks frozen compared to the fluidity of those in the yellow shirts.

Daave-Netherlands over Brazil

The yellow and green completely shut down the middle of the field against Chile. Luckily, the Dutch have a player in Arjen Robben who loves to strike from the wing. I think he'll be the difference maker in this one, especially since he has found his World Cup sea legs. Brazil has been great so far, but there seems to be something missing from this group. This is the quarterfinal match I am most looking forward to.

Uruguay v Ghana

RGaucho-Uruguay over Ghana on penalties

Don't expect too much from this match. By this point, teams are what they are, and what these teams have are terrific defense squads that count on only a couple star players to take advantage of another team's lapses. Unfortunately, I don't think either team will provide the lapses necessary for the other to score. I could look pretty dumb if Johnathan Mensahs yellow card suspension ends up hurting Ghana's defense, but I think they have enough quality to make up for it. And on the other end; as much as it hurts to say, Diego Lugnao and Uruguay have much more quality at the back than the U.S. and simply won't allow Ghana to strike right up the middle. So why Uruguay on pk's? It's just a hunch, or perhaps I'm still remembering their U-20 side wasn't that great at them despite beating Brazil for the championship last summer.

cornezinho-Ghana over Uruguay 2-1

This could be a boring game. Stifling defenses, packed midfielders, and strikers waiting to spring the counter attack. Despite some structure from their Serbian coach, Milovan Rajevac, Ghana is prone to making errors in marking at the back, and when you hand Diego Forlan one of those opportunities he will punish you (unlike Robbie Findley). That being said, Ghana has some solid option going forward. Asamoah Gyan is in good form, Kevin-Prince Boateng will be fit for the game, and Prince Tagoe should be back to start. They are missing Jonathan Mensah and Andre Ayew in the back and middle, respectively, but have plenty of suitable replacements in Lee Addy, Sulley Muntari, and Stephen Appiah. The Black Stars will do just enough things right to be the first African team to reach a World Cup semifinal.

Daave-Uruguay over Ghana

I have been surprised about how passive Ghana has been at times in this tournament. It seems as if they rely to much on the counterattack. That may work against pressing teams with weaker defenses such as the USA and Australia, but Uruguay has only allowed one goal in the tournament and Diego Lugano has been rock solid in the back. The absence of Andre Ayew and Jonathan Mensah (both with suspension) doesn't help.

Come back tomorrow for reviews of Saturday's games

Round of 16 Wrap Up

2010-06-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

There were some great games, and some not so great games, but 16 teams have become 8 and we are 11 days away from crowning a new world champion. Our predictions weren't on the blogosphere but on paper (and we would lie and change them, otherwise we wouldn't be the Most Honest Footy Blog*) so lets see how we did.

Uruguay beat South Korea during a rain-soaked affair that forced the few supporters to ride it out under the shelter of the stadium. A brilliant goal by Luis Suarez sent the South Americans through the the quarterfinals.

RGaucho- Uruguay, cornezinho-Uruguay, Daave-Uruguay. No surprises here.

Ghana ended the USA hopes of a deep run with a 2-1 victory in extra time. The USA again conceded two sloppy, early goals (first at the start of the game, then at the start of extra time). Ghana displayed their dominance with how effortlessly they pressured the ball and were clearly not as spent at the end of the 120 minutes.

RGaucho-USA, cornezinho-USA, Daave-USA. It would not be worth predicting correctly that Ghana would win, had to go with our boys.

Germany maintained their dominance over England in cup competitions with a 4-1 thrashing. Sure Lampard was denied a goal thanks to the ref seemingly falling for an optical illusion, but there was no question that the young Germans were superior to the listless Three Lions.

RGaucho-Germany, cornezinho-Germany, Daave-Germany. All the cards were in their favor. England squeaked through the group and Germany exposed them.

Argentina handled Mexico with ease in a 3-1 victory. Carlos Tevez's first goal was offside by about two Maradonas (note: a Maradona is a unit of length referring to the width of one Maradona, which varies in time but is now approximately 3 feet.) However, Mexico then handed a goal to Gonzalo Higuain before Carlos Tevez rifled in a shot that required no questioning.

RGaucho-Argentina, cornezinho-Argentina, Daave-Argentina. You had to know we wouldn't back Mexico, especially against such talent. And they knocked them out in this round four years ago.

The Netherlands dispatched the Slovaks with ease with goals from Robben and Sneijder. Slovakie blew some good chances and were able to pull one back with a meaningless penalty with the last kick of the game.

RGaucho- Netherlands, cornezinho-Netherlands, Daave-Netherlands. This was pretty straight forward.

Brasil cruised past Chile with a 3-0 performance. Chile went toe to toe for the first 33 minutes, but Juan's header goal off a corner killed their drive and Luis Fabiano danced past the defense and keeper just five minutes later.

RGaucho-Brasil, cornezinho-Brasil, Daave-Brasil. We all loved Chile's aggressive offense and quirky 3-3-1-3 formation, but getting past the canary yellow juggernaut was never going to happen.

Paraguay edged out Japan on penalties in what was an incredibly boring game. Neither team really deserved to win, and if Yuichi Komano hadn't fired his spot kick off the crossbar then they might still be going.

RGaucho-Japan, cornezinho-Paraguay, Daave-Paraguay. It really was a flip of the coin.

Spain passed their way past Portugal with a one-nil victory thank to David Villa, but La Roja Furia also showed their ability to grind out a win against a team only set on defense. Portugal's captain and diva, Cristiano Ronaldo, spent more time attacking the turf while pouting then attacking the Spanish net.

RGaucho-Spain. cornezinho-Spain, Daave-Spain. Portugal had the quality to win, but were disconnected going forward for the past 7 months.

Totals: RGaucho-6/8, cornezinho-7/8, Daave-7/8. Granted, most of the match-ups were pretty easy to call. Lets see how well we do for the quarterfinals.

*not an actual award, but we definitely would win it.

Rooined

2010-06-29T16:14:00.000-07:00

England crashed out of the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa at the hands of the Germans, and suffered the usual blitzing of their media. Much of their hopes relied on young Wayne Rooney after his inspiring season with Manchester United, but Wazza was hopeless in South Africa and will certainly want to forget it all very soon.

Much hoopla was also made about a North Korean forward, one Jong Tae-Se aka the People's Wayne Rooney. And while a comparison between these two forwards seems very generous for the one from the Far East, they are actually quite similar (click for a clearer image).

In their World Cup campaigns, Tae-Se showed up Rooney by providing the assist for his country's only goal. Maybe now we should call Rooney the "British Jong Tae-Se."

Belated Group Stages Notes

2010-06-26T09:08:00.000-07:00

I know I'm a little late with this, but here are my personal highlights and lowlights of the first 48 games of the Cup.

Best Player of the Group:
Group A - Diego Forlan, Uruguay - My man crush on Diego Forlan has been cultivated through the first three games into full on admiration. He controlled pace and tempo in all three group stage matches and had one of the goals of the tournament.

Group B - Lionel Messi, Argentina - Agreeing with the majority here. Even though he hasn't put one in the net, Messi has been brilliant. His runs/passes have set up most of the opportunities for Los Albicelestes.

Group C - Tim Howard, United States - Far and away the Man of the Match against England, and it was his presence of mind (and not to mention his cannon of an arm) that set up the famous goal that put the Yanks through.

Group D - Mesut Özil, Germany - One of the best young players of the tournament so far. He has made some great runs and some slick passes. The winner against Ghana is a goal that few in football can make. This kid has a bright future.

Group E - Keisuke Honda, Japan - Honda showed flashes in the Champions League with CSKA Moscow, but his performance thus far has the soccer world at full rapture. This stunning goal against Denmark has cemented his reputation as one of the world's preeminent free kick artists.

Group F - Mark Paston, New Zealand - Paston was rock solid in goal for a New Zealand side that punched above its weight. The Wellington Phoenix player was tested with a barrage of shots in the last half hour against Italy and he passed with flying colors.

Group G - Maicon, Brazil - Maicon was all over the field in all three Group G games for a Brazil squad that has not shown its full potential yet. Was his goal against North Korea intended to be a cross? I say we stop asking and just admire one of the better strikes we've seen this year.

Group H - David Villa, Spain - The legend continues. If not for the missed PK against Honduras, he'd be the pole sitter for the Golden Boot heading into the Round of 16.

Biggest Disappointment:
Group A - France - Although I picked Les Bleus to make it to the quarterfinals, I have to say that I have enjoyed the French meltdown. We all knew this team was dysfunctional, but I don't think anyone imagined things to get to this level.

Group B - Sani Kaita, Nigeria - After Keita's red card, which is something you would see in U-10's, things just fell apart for Nigeria. (Pun 100% Intended)

Group C - John Terry, England - Terry has been unremarkable in a position where England needs to step up. Trying and then failing to stage a coup against his coach is the cherry on top of this shit sundae.

Group D - Serbia's Strikeforce - I expected bigger things from the Serbian attack, especially against the vulnerable back lines of Australia and Ghana. Why they became so passive when Germany went down to 10 men is something I'll never figure out.

Group E - Jon Dahl Tomasson, Denmark - Tomasson had easily the worst individual performance of the group stage against Japan. The 33 year old seemed desperate to become Denmark's top all time scorer and it cost his team dearly. An embarrassing way for a Danish legend to go out.

Group F - Daniele De Rossi, Italy - De Rossi literally gave away goals to Slovakia. His performance in the game that mattered most for the Azzurri was emplematic of the defending champion's performance as a whole in this tournament.

Group G - Ivory Coast - I expected more fire and motivation for a team that was heavily hyped heading into the tournament. Then again, this is a side lead by Sven-Goran Eriksson. (I pray that he doesn't take the Fulham post if Hodgson leaves for Liverpool.)

Group H - Vicente del Bosque, Spain - I can't blame Fernando Torres and Humberto Suazo, two of the more disappointing players in this group, because both are coming off injuries that have prevented them from playing a full 90 minutes in months so my disappointing figure is the Spanish skipper. In a group where goal differential was life or death, del Bosque seemed content to just pass the ball around, a la Arriaga and Arriaga II.

Funniest Moment:
The intensity of Fabio Capello

Best XI: (4-5-1)
GK - Tim Howard, USA
D - Diego Lugano, Uruguay
D - Ricardo Carvalho, Portugal
D - Lucio, Brazil
D - Nadir Belhadj, Algeria
MF - Keisuke Honda, Japan
MF - Mesut Özil, Germany
MF - Landon Donovan, USA
MF - Lionel Messi, Argentina
MF - Diego Forlan, Uruguay
ST - David Villa, Spain

Quick Round of 16 Predictions:
Uruguay over South Korea (I know I am posting this after the completion of this match, but I had Uruguay all along, trust me)
USA over Ghana
Netherlands over Slovakia
Brazil over Chile (in extra time)
Germany over England (I think this one is destined for PKs)
Argentina over Mexico
Paraguay over Japan
Spain over Portugal (PKs)

Enjoy the games, everyone!

Round of 16 preview: USA-Ghana

2010-06-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

The United States topped their group with a thrilling one-nil win over Algeria just before the stroke of midnight. Ghana limped in with a loss to Germany but, thanks to Australia's upset of Serbia, advanced on goal differential. Saturday in Rustenburg at Royal Bafokeng stadium they'll square off in the second match of the round of 16.

First we flash back to 2006 in Nuremberg, Germany. In the last game of Group E, we would advance with a win (and an Italy win, which happened) over Ghana. In a soft performance by the USA that rounded out a terrible campaign, we crashed out with a 1-2 loss.

Fast forward to now: Claudio Reyna and his creaking bones are gone and Onyewu is four years more mature. The Yanks are coming with a ton of momentum, having put together some of their best showings ever starting with the second half against Slovenia. Landon Donovan has finally come of age and is ready to exorcise the demons of 2006, and for the first time soccer is not just a small blip on the United States' sports radar.

On the other hand, the Black Stars are on a downward slope; after starting with a win over Serbia, they tied a ten man Australia and then lost to the Germans. They do have one advantage: as the last African team left, the whole continent is behind them.

But just how good is this home field "advantage"? People expected Cameroon, Nigeria, Ivory Coast and hosts South Africa to have full support of the locals, yet they all were eliminated at the group stage. In addition, the USA has reportedly bought the most tickets out of any nation and Uncle Sam's army has been in full force for all our games. Our correspondent in South Africa bought a scalped Algeria ticket for only $20. You can bet a horde of American will flock to Rustenburg and buy up the remaining tickets to root us on to the quarterfinals. Hardly seems like Africa will be empowering Ghana from the stands.

When it comes down to it, the teams are pretty evenly matched. Both favor a physically intense, high octane game. The Yanks defense has been pretty solid, and Ghana's Serbian coach Milovan Rajevac has instilled a defensive discipline not seen in African sides. They are both very young squads whose players don't perform consistently, yet are a real threat on their day. The game could go either way, and boils down to a few things:

Which Ghana offense shows up? They have only scored two goals this tournament, both from penalties. Against Australia they showed a real lack of patience, shooting from over 25 yards away, which will not trouble our keeper Tim Howard
The USA key attacking players: Donovan, Dempsey, and Altidore. All had great spurts and runs, but often they do it at different times. If they are firing on all cylinder together, I reckon they'll be unstoppable.
Ghana's defense: Their backline is either very young or very old, both of which are exploitable.
Will Jonathan Bornstein start? Its been documented that I'm not his biggest fan. While he played well enough against Algeria, I'd rather not press our luck, especially against the tricky and pacey Prince Tagoe.
Who partners Jozy up top? Hercules didn't look to bad and Buddle ran off of Altidore well, but Bob Bradley obviously favors Robbie Findley.
Battle in the middle: its our two, Michael Bradley and Maurice Edu, against their three, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Anthony Annan, and Andre Ayew. Bradley and Boateng will be quite the battle. Both are hot-headed and rough and neither will back down from a confrontation.
Don't give up a early goal. England score in the fourth minute, Slovenia in the thirteenth, and Algeria rocked the crossbar in the fifth minute and it nearly made me shit my heart. Just once lets not go behind and leave it to a nail-bitting ending. Lets score early and often then shut up shop, which is easier said than done of course.

If the USA plays like we did the last game and half and Ghana doesn't step it up, the Yanks should march on to the quarterfinals. If we come out flat, we may just be packing our bags. But momentum is with us, and we sure play well with momentum. I say USA 3, Ghana 1. Lets not end this dream just yet.

Group stage notes Part 2

2010-06-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

And we continue where we left off...

Funniest moments of the group stages:

RGaucho-Evra and France team chief argument.

cornezinho-North Korea's Jong Tae-Se, aka The People's Wayne Rooney, guaranteeing to score a "goal a game" and that his team would accompany Brasil into the knockout stages. Or Fernando Torres's futile attempts at trying to score, or playing football in general. Or nearly everything John Harkes says, which is all unintentional comedy. I was considering keeping a log of his best quotes, but that required listening to John Harkes intently entirely too much.

Biggest surprises so far:

RGaucho-The biggest surprise for me has easily been Japan. I thought they were going to lose all three matches, and score one goal at the most. Instead, they score two amazing free kicks within 5 minutes of each other, play disciplined and passionate defense, and have a breakout star in Honda, who I had no knowledge of before the tournament started. Note to self: pay less attention to Serie A, the league and Italian footballers in general suck these days.

cornezinho-Both Japan and South Korea have been impressive, and I've been delightfully please with how well our boys of the USA have played. Also, I knew France was having troubles, but the extent to which it derailed their campaign was incredible. Evra argued with a coach, they boycotted practice, Anelka and Ribery wouldn't pass to Gourcuff, and all the other drama was straight out of a bad soap opera.

Best XI:

RGaucho-Tim Howard (USA) GK, Maicon (Brasil) RB, Ricardo Carvalho (Portugal) CB, Diego Lugano (Uruguay) CB, Carlos Salcido (Mexico) LB, Mesut Ozil (Germany) CM, Michael Bradley (USA) CM, Lionel Messi (Argentina) CAM, Diego Forlan (Uruguay) CF, Keisuke Honda (Japan) CF, David Villa (Spain) ST

cornezinho-Tim Howard (USA) GK, Maicon (Brasil) RB, Ricardo Carvalho (Portugal) CB, Diego Lugano (Uruguay) CB, Philip Lahm (Germany) LB, Bastian Schweinsteiger (Germany) CM, Michael Bradley (USA) CM, Lionel Messi (Argentina) CAM, Landon Donovan (USA) RW, Keisuke Honda (Japan) LW, David Villa (Spain) ST

The round of 16 starts tomorrow. The group stages were heated and it only gets better from here.

Group stage notes Part 1

2010-06-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

Finally the group stages of the 2010 FIFA World Cup from South Africa are over. We've said goodbye to last years finalists, France and Italy, and a world stage hello to some bright youngsters like Mesut Ozil and Michael Bradley. And while we salivate for the Round of 16 to begin, here are some notes on the group stages (commentary by cornezinho, Daave's to be uploaded later):

Best player of the group:

Group A:

RGaucho-Diego Forlan, Uruguay. Captain Forlan put in two goals and showed good hold up play to help the Uruguayans explode out of the back on counter attacks.

cornezinho-Diego Lugano, Uruguay. A solid performance in the center of defense, Lugano was the first to disrupt the opposing team's offense and the last man to get beat, which rarely happened. Was also a threat on set pieces.

Group B:

RGaucho-Lionel Messi, Argentina. Still without a goal, Messi's mazy runs and pinpoint passing has left defenses in shambles and goalkeepers trembling.

cornezinho-Messi. Higuain may have three goals, but Argentina has been Messi's team and he is just waiting to hit the net and open the floodgates.

Group C:

RGaucho-Landon Donovan, USA. Our talismanic captain has been top class, and it was epitomized in the last-gap, game-clenching, group-winning, heart-stopping, I-think-I-just-pooped-myself-in-excitement goal against Algeria that is shown every five minutes on SportsCenter.

cornezinho-Michael Bradley, USA. Bradley has been the definition of a box-to-box midfielder. He has marshaled the center of the pitch with great expertise for a 22-year-old, doing it nearly entirely on his own against Algeria when Maurice Edu was subbed out. And he scored the equalizer against Slovenia. If he keeps it up, his club Borussia Monchengladbach are certainly going to receive offers for him.

Group D:

RGaucho-Mesut Ozil, Germany. A classic no. 10, Ozil is Germany's creative force, dribbling at defenders and delivering incisive passes. And that sick goal against Ghana.

cornezinho-Bastian Schweinsteiger, Germany. I put him in my first round XI and he is not being left out now. A thigh injury might rule him out against England which is a tragedy, since he will be needed for the battle with Lampard and Barry.

Group E:

RGaucho-Keisuke Honda, Japan. Honda was an inspiration on offense and an ever-present danger in a surprising Blue Samurai squad.

cornezinho-Honda. The winning goal against Cameroon and his dominance against Denmark leaves him a rising star and a purchase by a top European club seems eminent. His first free kick was brilliant and the feint and pass for the defining goal was a masterclass move.

Group F:

RGaucho-Robert Vittek, Slovakia. Scored all of Slovakia's goals (3) until the third goal against Italy. What more can you ask from a striker.

cornezinho-Ryan Nelsen/New Zealand. Nelsen was the captain of the All White's stifling defense but no one player deserves the accolade. The Kiwis were expected to leave with zero points and no dignity, but shocked everyone and left South Africa undefeated (three draws) and ahead of cup defenders Italy.

Group G:

RGaucho-Maicon, Brasil. The marauding right fullback scored an excellent goal against Commie Korea and was a force on both offense and defense.

cornezinho-Ricardo Carvalho, Portugal. A big reason why Portugal gave up zero goals in the group, was able to shut down Chelsea teammate Didier Drogba and Brasil's Luis Fabiano without any of his dreaded two-footed tackles.

Group H:

RGaucho-David Villa, Spain. Three goals, two of which are top 10 quality. Can't argue with that.

cornezinho-Andres Iniesta, Spain. The Barcelona play maker came in fresh of injury but still showed off his innate dribbling abilities and fantastic vision. He was a bright star in La Roja's loss to the Swiss and was rewarded with a clinical goal for his fantastic display against Chile.

Now the list you don't want to be on, the worst performers of the group:

Group A:

RGaucho-Patrice Evra, France. The Captain, didn't really do his job of organizing and unify the squad.

cornezinho- France as a whole, with the exception of keeper Hugo Lloris. What an embarrassment.

Group B:

RGaucho-Sani Kaita, Nigeria. Received an extremely dumb red card against Greece for an "attempted" kick. Yeah, the Greece scum play-acted the encounter, but you just can't be doing that. Especially to the dirty, mischievous Greeks.

cornezinho-Martin Demichelis, Argentina. The centerback is good for one good screw up a game and is a real liability. It cost them a goal against South Korea in a comfortable win, but as the tournament goes on it could be a fatal mistake.

Group C:

RGaucho-Wayne Rooney, England. Rooney was supposed to be the savior of England, but all that he has mustered up is a shot off the post against Slovenia.

cornezinho-Rooney, or England as a whole. Its a combination of severe under performing and over hyping by the British media, but England has been dismal and most likely will be put out of their misery by their old foes, the Germans.

Group D:

RGaucho-Nikola Zigic, Serbia. The 6'8" couldn't head for crap and managed as many shots on goal as goals (zero). He even managed to block a teammate's goal bound shot against Ghana.

cornezinho-Serbia's defense. Anchored by Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic, they only gave up three goals but gifted two penalties by deciding to use their arms instead of their heads on crosses, which is frowned upon in football. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot (which also frowned upon).

Group E:

RGaucho-Jon Dahl Tomasson, Denmark. Veteran and captain (when he plays), JDT looked nervous and out of sync. He whiffed a chance against Japan, then missed his PK before shanking the follow up which was lucky to go in. Not very becoming of the Dane's leading scorer.

cornezinho-Cameroon. For a team with a bunch of good players, the Indomitable Lions were very much domitable, finishing with zero points. They only ever looked like they would draw with Denmark, but poor finishing and even poorer defending undid that.

Group F:

RGaucho-Everybody on Italy except Quagliarella. Age factory aside, the Azzuri lacked quality, continuity, and even their usually dependable defense was as holey as the Shroud of Turin. They only showed a sense of urgency with 15 minutes left against Slovakia when elimination was impending. The increased effort was 255 minutes too late.

cornezinho-Fabio Cannavaro, Italy. Their captain really played like a 38-year-old. It didn't help that Italy was poor overall, but Cannavaro gave Paraguay their goal by not even jumping for the header off the set piece and displayed reactions like a geriatric cat for New Zealand's goal when the ball fell into his lap.

Group G:

RGaucho-Kim Jong-Il, Commie Korea. Their Dear Leader was providing tactical and substitution suggestions via a secret, invisible communication link with coach Kim Jong-Hun. He did a great job, helping his team to a 1-2 loss to Brasil, 0-7 to Portugal, and 0-3 to the Ivory Coast, for zero points and a goal differential of negative eleven.

cornezinho-Emmanuel Eboue, Ivory Coast. Arsenal's Kanye West look-alike was part of Elephant's dismal midfield, and his biggest impact I remember was delaying the Portugal game after going down from a tackle.

Group H:

RGaucho-Fernando Torres, Spain. Put plain and simple, El Nino was awful, epitomized by a chance against Honduras from about 12 yards out that is currently still in orbit somewhere above Johannesburg.

cornezinho-Torres. You could see on his face how disappointed in himself he was. 'Nando was rustier than a hillbilly lawn ornament.

2 games=2 TVs

2010-06-21T22:32:00.001-07:00

When you are trying to watch every game of the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, having two games played at once can be an issue. Thankfully, there is a solution. The primary television (right) broadcasts in beautiful HD, while the secondary television (left) streams off espn3.com in a slightly lesser but still good quality. Thus, nothing will be missed. And the hand-made cardboard US crest (top) will keep our spirits high.

Mathematics

2010-06-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

We are officially half way through the 2010 FIFA World Cup from South Africa with 32 of the 64 games now over. We've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and we are now immune to the sound of bees, blenders, lawn mowers, weed-wackers and the voice of the Nanny thanks to those lovely vuvuzelas. Tomorrow begins the final games of the group stages; some teams will be extending their camp stays, others will be home before the post cards arrive. We have all the different scenarios for you so you'll know each teams chances of advancing without ending your brain's summer vacation.

First, the FIFA rules on the group stage rankings. Obviously the teams are ranked first by points, then by goal differential. If two (or three) teams are even on both, the next tiebreaker is goals scored, followed by head-to-head (like if one team beat the other). The next three rules pertain mostly to a three way tie and are similar to the previous two, read here on the FIFA website. Lastly, if all is still tied, a name is pulled out of a hat. Yes, in the world's most important sporting event, or event in general, fates can be decided by random chance. Lovely ain't it?

GROUP A--Mexico (4 points, +3 goal differential) v Uruguay (4 pts, +2 GD), France (1 pt, -2 GD) v South Africa (1 pt, -3 GD)

Les Blues and Bafana Bafana are opponents in the same boat; a tie eliminates them both, otherwise they need to win, and win big, by at least four goals. Plus they need Mexico and Uruguay to not tie. If the two teams from the Americas tie they advance for sure, otherwise its going to take a lot of work by either team in the other game.

Prediction: Going out on a limb here, but I'm saying Mexico and Uruguay tie and go on. Hopefully the hosts can end their tournament with a win for the locals, which is plausible considering that at France's rate of self destruction, tomorrow they may field a team of reserves, coaches, and the reanimated corpse of Napoleon.

GROUP B--Argentina (6 pts, +4 GD) v Greece (3 pts, -1 GD), South Korea (3 pts, -1 GD) v Nigeria (0 pts, -2 GD)

Argentina has pretty much qualified. Only real big wins by both Greece and Korea would knock out los Albicelestes. Argentina will be looking to end on a high with a win, and Greece will have trouble even getting a tie. Tomorrow is basically a race between Greece and Korea, and Korea has the advantage of scoring one more goal in the event they both tie plus not having to play Argentina. Nigeria's chances are not too slim, where a two goal win and a Greece loss lets them through.

Prediction: Korea dominated Greece and the scoreline against Argentina didn't reflect how well they played. They should beat or at least tie Nigeria, and Argentina is definitely not showing any mercy against Greece.

GROUP C-- Slovenia (4 pts, +1 GD) v England (2 pts, 0 GD), USA (2 pts, 0 GD) v Algeria (1 pt, -1 GD)

Let's not even get started on how the USA should be leading with four points were it not for dubious referring. However, our destiny is in our hands, and we advance with a win. If we tie, we need Slovenia to win, or for a Slovenia/England tie that scores two less goals than our tie. Algeria advances with a win and England loss/tie or win by more than one goal. If England wins they advance for sure, and Slovenia only needs to get points to advance for sure.

Prediction: The Yanks showed last summer they can beat North African teams (Egypt) and we should win, despite my ill harbored feelings that it's a game we could lose. England needs to finally get it together; they have the quality to smash Slovenia, but so too against us and Algeria. I see USA and England making it to the Round of 16, but anyone in this group can advance.

GROUP D-- Ghana (4 pts, +1 GD) v Germany (3 pts, +3 GD), Serbia (3 pts, 0 GD) v Australia (1 pt, -4 GD)

Ghana should have sealed their fate by beating the 10-man Aussies, but they still advance for sure with a win or tie. Germany will be going all out after feeling they were robbed against Serbia and advance with a win. If both games tie, Germany and Ghana advance. Serbia advances only with a win or a tie and Germany loss. Australia needs a win and Germany loss or they are on a plane back down under.

Prediction: In the World Cup you just can't count out Germany, and I think they definitely will get the job done. Australia could go out with a bang and hold Serbia at bay, other wise the two European teams will get through at the expense of Africa's last real hope.

GROUP E-- Netherlands (6 pts, +3 GD) v Cameroon (0 pts, -2 GD), Japan (3 pts, -1 GD) v Denmark (3 pts, -2 GD)

These two games are entirely independent; Netherlands advances for sure and Cameroon is already eliminated. Its a showdown between the Blue Samurai and Olssen's Eleven where winner takes all. Thanks to goal differential, Japan advances with a tie.

Prediction: Netherlands retains first (duh) and Japan advances. It could go either way, but since Japan has the advantage of being able to tie, odds are in their favor. However, my ESPN bracket hopes the Danes pull it off.

GROUP F--Paraguay (4 pts, +2 GD) v New Zealand (2 pts, 0 GD), Italy (2 pts, 0 GD) v Slovakia (1 pt, -2 GD)

This group reads the same as Group C, just replace Slovenia with Paraguay, England with NZ, USA with Italy and Algeria with Slovakia.

Prediction: New Zealand has two more points than anyone expected but their luck will probably run out as an in-form Paraguay will not take any chances. I wouldn't put it past Italy to sit back for one of their trademark zero-zero draws and try to hit on the counter attack. Paraguay and Italy should go through.

GROUP G--Brasil (6 pts, +3 GD) v Portugal (4 pts, +7 GD), Ivory Coast (1 pt, -2 GD) v North Korea (0 pts, -8 GD)

Brasil is through, but they want first place and to end on a win. Portugal have nearly sealed their spot thanks to the rainy 7-0 drubbing of DPRK. Ivory Coast can only advance with a Portugal loss and a win that makes up a combined 10 goal difference. North Korea's chances at advancing before the tournament were as mythical as the winged horse they're named after, but now they are probable as one of their citizens leaving the country freely.

Prediction: Brasil will make sure they seal first but Portugal should advance just fine. Though Ivory Coast will certainly try to run up the score on the Commie Koreans, which should be fun.

GROUP H-- Chile (6 pts, +2 GD) v Spain (3 pts, +1 GD), Switzerland (3 pts, 0 GD) v Honduras (0 pts, -3 GD)

Honduras is pretty much as good as out, but a result against Switzerland will ruin their hot chocolate party. Spain needs a win if the Swiss win/tie. Chile advances with any points, but are definitely ruing their missed chances against Honduras and Switzerland for goal differential purposes. In the likely event of a Swiss victory, in order for Chile and Spain to go through, Spain must win by one, and Switzerland only by one as well. Chile could then pip the Swiss on goals scored or, if that is tied, head-to-head.

Prediction: Spain will win the offense-heavy battle with Chile in what hopefully will be a high-flying, high scoring affair. Switzerland shouldn't come undone by Honduras and will likely edge out Chile on goal differential. Which is unfortunate because I hate defensive teams and Chile's high-octane style is so entertaining.

Remember, groups are played at the same time for fairness issues. Before the Round of 16 starts our "experts" (and I use that team loosely) will put their reputations on the line and make their picks. Enjoy!

World Cup Power Rankings

2010-06-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

One more round left to go in group play and there are only two teams that have secured advancement (Brazil, Holland) and two teams that have been eliminated (Cameroon, North Korea) so there is still plenty to play for in these last matches. The two games that the 32 teams have been illuminating, but certainly are no indication of what will happen come the knockout stage. Here is how I feel the teams stand so far heading into the climactic matches of the group stage.

1. Brazil - Some have speculated that the Brazilians scoreline wasn't dominant enough North Korea, but there is no question that the Seleçao have asserted themselves as the top dogs in this tournament. They completely controlled possession and pace against DPRK and Ivory Coast, using technical skill to break down their opponents. Brazil has brought preparation, focus, and discipline, qualities that other contenders clearly left at home.

2. Argentina - Gonzalo Higuain may be in pole position for the Golden Boot award, but this has been Lionel Messi's team. The 1-0 result against Nigeria contained a multitude of scoring chances for Argentina that were finished properly in the 4-1 victory over South Korea, many of which were set up by Messi. There are definite and valid questions regarding the back line, in particular the play of Martin Dimichelis, but it seems as if the two South American powers are on a collision course for the final, fitting considering the dominance of the continent in this World Cup.

3. Holland - This isn't your father's Oranje. Only three goals so far for the Netherlands, one of which was an own goal, but it is on the defensive end where Holland has shined bright. I don't think the match commentators have uttered Maarten Stekelenburg's name. The next match against already eliminated Cameroon should provide rest for the starters (Arjen Robben in particular) and provide a showcase for Eljero Elia, who has been a revelation off the bench. All I ask is that the Dutch bust out those kick-ass white kits.

4. Germany - I think Germany was a bit unlucky in the Serbia match, with Miroslav Klose being sent off and Lukas Podolski missing the penalty. The 4-0 drubbing of Australia has still been the finest start to finish match by any team so far and I have a feeling that Mesut Özil is just getting warmed up. It should be noted that Germany lost to Croatia in the group stage of Euro 08, but rallied back to make it to the final. I wouldn't be too concerned if I were a Mannschaft supporter.

5. Spain - Spain has been a puzzling team for me. Bob Bradley has seemed to provided the blueprint for beating Spain by shutting down the midfield passing and attacking on the counter, a strategy implemented by the Swiss in their 1-0 win. La Furia Roja rebounded nicely today in their 2-0 win over Honduras, but it seemed like they stepped off the gas in the last half hour, which could come back to haunt them in a group that will seem to come down to goal differential. The upcoming Chile game looms large.

6. Uruguay - Uruguay's ranking here might be a bit inflated due to the fact that they've played France and South Africa, two sides that are crumbling away. That being said, Diego Forlan has been dominant, establishing himself as one of the world's best players. His strike against South Africa has been one of the goals of the tournament.

7. Portugal - I am not placing too much stock in today's 7-0 thrashing of North Korea mostly because I feel like most teams in this tournament could have placed 3 or 4 in the net against the melted down second half defense of DPRK. The massive goal differential will surely secure placement in the knockout stage, but more importantly, the North Korea blowout might be the confidence booster Cristiano & Co. need as they get set to face Brazil.

8. Chile - La Roja overcame some dubious yellow cards and a packed in Swiss defense to earn a deserved three points. The showdown with Spain should be the most interesting game of the third round as Switzerland is sure to beat Honduras, but it will be the first real test of the Chilean defense.

9. USA - I may be writing this through red, white and blue tinted glasses, but other than the first half against Slovenia and the opening five minutes against England, the Americans have impressed. Remember that the U.S. would have 4 points if not for Koman Coulibaly. I am intrigued to see who will start up top and at centre back foe the Yanks following the Robbie Findley suspension and poor performance of Oguchi Onyewu. I think Gooch will end up starting, but I expect Edson Buddle and Jonathan Spector to make their tournament debuts.

10. Paraguay - Group F really is terrible, but Paraguay has performed admirably. I don't think it would be stunning to see a run to the quarterfinals for the Guaranies.

11. Mexico - It pains me to say this, but El Tri is a real dark horse to make it to the semis. Carlos Vela's injury is a real concern, but Javier Hernandez has stepped up admirably in his absence. I'm still not sure what Cuahtemoc Blanco is doing out there and Oscar Perez is a legitimate liability in goal, but the path has been cleared for Mexico to make a run.

12. Slovenia - How I hate their goal celebrations. What a bunch of ninnies. Aside from that, both goals against the U.S. were legit and I think they have a great shot at taking 3 points from England. Samir Handovic came into the tournament as an underrrated keeper, but this picture says it all about his performace in the tournament thus far.

13. Ghana - The youth of the Ghanians is starting to show. I was stunned that they didn't play more aggressively when they were up a man against Australia, especially considering their final group match is against a motivated Germand side. They must score from the run of play if they have any chance of advancing as they are the last chance Africa has to be represented in the final sixteen.

14. Serbia - I have been fairly unimpressed by Serbia after two games, especially with Nemanja Vidic and the back line. Two (basically) intentional hand balls in the box in two consecutive games is not a positive sign. As noted with Ghana, I was surprised that they didn't play more proactively once Klose was ejected, especially since this is likely to be another goal differential group.

15. Denmark - A lousy first game against the Dutch, was followed up with a fine performance against a desperate Cameroon side. Nicklas Bendtner scored a mighty fine goal, making up for the lackluster showing from Jon Dahl Tomasson. The 2-1 score line probably should have been inflated for both squads, which speaks volumes about Denmark's offensive and defensive states.

16. Switzerland - I am ready to put Switzerland up with Greece as one of the most despicable sides in football. Essentially playing a 10-1 formation and hoping for a counter attack score is bad for football and I hate to see it rewarded like the Swiss did against Spain. But as proved in the '06 World Cup, packing it in will only get an offensively mediocre team so far.

17. South Korea - South Korea has been a fun team to watch; disciplined and organized and ready to pounce on any mistakes by opponents. Back home, the fans are excited.

18. England - I think Fabio Capello is on the nose when he says that his side is facing too much pressure. After the Rob Green catastrophe, no one wanted to make a mistake against Algeria and the passivity cost the Three Lions dearly. But do you think that Brazil, Argentina, Italy and any of the other favorite aren't facing as much if not more pressure? The mental makeup of this team is in shambles and its up to its true leaders Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard to step it up.

19. Italy - Speaking of a team in shambles and lacking leadership, the Azzurri clearly miss Andrea Pirlo. Luckily for the Italians, they only have to get by Slovakia to advance, but then again, we thought the same of New Zealand.

20. Japan - The Blue Samurai have punched above their weight with solid efforts against Nigeria Holland, but can they do it a third time against Denmark? It would take another Herculean effort from the backline and Keisuke Honda to do so, but I don't think Japan has it in them to advance.

21. Ivory Coast - A real disappointment, even with the injury to Drogba. No creativity, no inspiration, no zeal from any of these guys. The hiring of Sven-Goran Eriksson was a shortsighted and potentially disastrous move. The acting exhibition from Kader Keita says it all in word: pathetic.

22. Algeria - Algeria has (understandably) parked the bus for the last two games, but I expect their match against the USA to be more open, as they also need the 3 points (and positive goal differential) in order to advance. Nadir Belhadj and the rest of the defense was outstanding against England, but the offense hasn't showing anything to date, making advancement a dubious proposition.

23. New Zealand - The Kiwis!

I took great joy out of New Zealand's draw with Italy, but this is too good to last. Paraguay seems to have it together and the All White can only keep taking so many shots on goal. Still, a fine, fine performance from Ryan Nelsen, Mark Paston and the rest of the Kiwis. They have much to be proud of.

24. Australia - What a nightmare campaign for Australia. Tim Cahill unfairly and harshly getting sent off and Harry Kewell's injury and handball in the box, nothing is going right for Australia. It was nice to see them fight back from the Kewell setback and battle to the end against Ghana. But at this point the only thing that a Socceroo fan could hope for is a start to finish effort to play the spoiler against Serbia.

25. Slovakia - Probably the most snoozeworthy side in the tournament. Things pretty much ended for them after allowing the stoppage time goal to New Zealand.

26. South Africa - Ah it started so well for Bafana Bafana. I truly felt for the hosts when Itumeleng Khune, who had been great in the two matches, got sent off. But the self-destruction of the French ensure that South Africa have an excellent chance to end things on a winning note.

27. Cameroon - They had their chances against Denmark, but Cameroon has been doomed from the start. Paul Le Goen is surely ruing his decision to leave Alexandre Song out of the starting XI against Japan, although I am sure that he'll be glad to get away from this dysfunctional group.

28. France - What a disaster. From a non-footballing standpoint, France has been the most fun team to follow. You know that soccer has reached the American sporting mainstream when talk of the French circus and "Le Sulk" Anelka getting Le Sent Home, is being talked about more than the U.S. Open.

29. Honduras - Not much to say about Los Catrachos. Expectations were low for the 3rd place CONCACAF team and its safe to say that those expectations have been met.

30. Greece - Despite getting three points from the lackadaisical Super Eagles, Greece's chancing of advancing are virtually nil. They will be the lambs to Argentina's slaughter tomorrow.

31. Nigeria - Another African disappointment. Sani Kaita's foolish red card did it in for Nigeria as they are set to wrap up yet another disappointing World Cup appearance.

32. North Korea - After such a promising start, North Korea confirmed initial suspicions that they really do suck.

Most Intriguing 3rd Round Group Play Matches
Portugal v. Brazil - Can Portugal and Brazil continue their hot streaks?
Chile v. Brazil - Essentially an elimination game.
Ghana v. Germany - Was the Serbia game an aberration for the Germans?

What. A. Game.

2010-06-18T09:21:00.001-07:00

World Cup first round best XI

2010-06-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

Well each team has now played their first game in the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa. We've seen some really boring games and goal droughts thanks to everyone being overcautious and unpolished. With no further adieu, I give you the Ambitious Effort starting XI of the first round:

Asamoah Gyan, Striker (Ghana vs Serbia)--Gyan was a real nuisance for a strong Serbian defense that features Man Utd's Nemanja Vidic. Gyan made good runs across the lines and held up play well when needed. Some dribbling runs ended with bad shots, but who didn't shoot poorly in the opening round. The Ghanaian striker hit a header off the post but was rewarded with a goal thanks to a well-taken penalty off of Kuzmanovic's inexplicably stupid handball to earn the Black Stars a win.

Eljero Elia, Left Wing (Netherlands vs Denmark)--Elia came in as a second half sub and instantly made an impact, turning two defenders and racing down the wing before crossing. Denmark's right flank had no answer for Elia's creativity and double teams were fruitless. His effort on goal from a Sneijder chipped through ball was unlucky to hit the upright but provided a tap in for everyone's "favorite" work horse, Dirk Kuyt.

Alexis Sanchez, Right Wing (Chile vs Honduras)--Sure, Honduras isn't exactly the world's best defense, but Sanchez was an absolute joy to watch on the ball, frequently taking on two, three, or even four defenders with aplomb. While he looked a little too Walcott-ish in front of goal and probably should have claimed a goal, Sanchez was quite dynamite and deserves a spot in the top XI.

Lionel Messi, Attacking Mid (Argentina vs Nigeria)--You had to know Messi would be on this list. Little Leo was up to his usual darting runs with the ball glued to his foot and was certainly the spark in the Argentina offense. Messi should have put one away, but a few efforts went tantalizingly wide and a few were heroically denied by Nigeria's keeper Vincent Enyeama.

Bastian Schweinsteiger, Center Mid (Germany destroys Australia)--In what was easily the most lopsided game, Schweini pulled the strings delightfully and made the center of the pitch his own. Ball control, pinpoint passing, and disrupting tackles were all on display from the German in their dismantling of the Socceroos that certainly made Aussie keeper Schwarzer want to die for real.

Gokhan Inler, Center Mid (Switzerland vs Spain)--Easily the biggest upset of the tournament so far, the Swiss held the Spaniards at bay and earned a win thanks to a perfect display of Route 1 football. Inler was instrumental in this victory, helping shield his defenders by making Xavi and Xabi Alonso pass the ball wide instead of up the middle to David Villa or Fernando Torres. Inler also had the energy to go forward the few times the Swiss made their way out of their own half.

Maicon, Right Fullback (Brasil vs Commie Korea)--As always, Maicon was great going forward and uncompromising on defense. He scored the goal that opened the game up for Brasil with a surging run into the box. From a tight angle Maicon saw Luis Fabiano and Robinho both heavily marked and NK keeper Ri Myong-Guk (who otherwise had a great game) cheating the cross so he fired home with the outside of his foot. Its the finishing class we expect from the Inter wing back.

Giorgio Chiellini, Center Back (Italy vs Paraguay)--His partner in the back, Fabio Cannavaro, was having a torrid time, presumably because FIFA prohibited him from playing with his cane (get it? he's old!). Chiellini picked up the slack and put on a typical no-nonsense display, winning headers and tackles and distributing the ball well.

Jay DeMerit, Center Back (USA vs England)--Where was Wayne Rooney this game? You might want to ask his shadow, Mr. Jay DeMerit. Following Wazza around the pitch and denying him chances is no easy task, but DeMerit executed Bob Bradley's instructions well and helped us to an all important draw against England.

Philip Lahm, Left Back (Germany vs Australia)--"Wait!" you say, "Lahm played right back!" But he plays on the left for club Bayern Munich, and therefore he earns the starting role on the left on my team. The German captain put in a solid display for Die Mannschaft and provided the cross for Klose's goal and rounds out the outfield players for the best XI.

Tim Howard, Goalkeeper (USA vs England)--Timmy had a fantastic game, denying the Three Lions with 7 saves, including a breakaway against Emile Heskey (but who hasn't denied Heskey on a breakaway). Add in the fact that Howard played a majority of the game with a broken rib after a crunch with Heskey, he also earns the coveted Ambitious Effort Thug Life Award for the first round.

Manager: Ottmar Hitzfeld, Switzerland--Hitzfeld engineered the defeat of Euro champions and tournament favorites Spain. A disciplined back line and midfield pushed the Spaniards wide and made them send in aerial crosses, which favored the height of the Swiss so they could clear it comfortably. A country of skiers, watch-makers, and chocolate eaters beat a powerhouse that plays a beautiful passing game but has no Plan B. Spain is beatable, but as Americans we already knew that.

On the bench: As mentioned, Nigeria's goalie Enyeama had a great game. For Italy, Daniele De Rossi was a marshal of the midfield and grabbed their only goal; Mauro Camronesi came on as a sub and nearly instantly doubled the average playing speed of the Azzuri. Robinho provided the flair for Brasil and his perfect pass for Elano provided their second goal. Javier Mascherano was up to his usual business in the midfield for Argentina and committed one of his classic end of the game, doesn't matter if I get a yellow card reckless tackles. Ji Sung Park was the talismanic captain for South Korea's win over Greece and got his name on the score sheet.

As the games continue, I have one request: Attack more, score more! Thank you.

Live elephant in stands at Port Elizabeth

2010-06-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

Its Ivory Coast versus Portugal and Kolo Toure is down near the corner flag with cramps (and not for the last time). ESPN has a few options here for broadcast: show more GolTV-esque slow-emotion replays, show the coaches, continue showing Toure on the ground, or pan the stands and show all the crazed and energized fans. And then we saw the elephant:

So many questions here:

Was his suit searched for security reasons?
Did he wear it to the stadium? Or all the way from the Ivory Coast?
Is it even possible to see out those eye holes?
Is it a distant cousin of Max Rebo of intergalactic musical fame?
Not as related, but can anyone figure out how to not over hit crosses with the Jubulani? Geez!

10 ways to beat england

2010-06-12T09:35:00.000-07:00

Day 1 of the FIFA WORLD CUP 2010 from SOUTH AFRICA, which is the only name by which ESPN will call it, saw the hosts drawing with our southern neighbors and Uruguay and France play an absolute snoozefest. Speaking of the Frenchies, watching them play reminded me of the same team chemistry seen at Real Madrid, except that at Madrid they actually like each other and eventually score. Every single one of Les Blues thought it was their job to dribble their way to goal or unleash a shot from 40 yards that ended up landing in the waters off Cape Town. The rumors of Anelka and Gourcuff being outcast by the rest of the squad seem to be true, as every time they got the ball they refused to give it up to anyone but the Uruguayan defenders or the spectators.

But I digress. I now give you the United States keys victory, some of which are more realistic than others:

Score first. In no way shape or form do we want to fall behind a Fabio Capello coached England, who will be disciplined enough to knock the ball around and kill the game no matter how early they score.
Counter-attacks. Yes, everyone and their mom knows thats what we do best. But the nature of England's play is very susceptible to a quick strike. As England floods forward, both their fullbacks (Ashley Cole and Glen Johnson) will be high up the pitch. Since Gareth Barry is injured, the Three Lions are lacking a holding midfielder to shield the back line and we know what happens when Stevie G and Lamps play in the middle together (neither plays defense). Centerbacks John Terry and Ledley King aren't exactly the fastest men on the pitch, so a ball straight up the middle just might free Jozy or whoever starts with him (Buddle or Findley, maybe even Hercules?).
Get Wayne Rooney sent off. Jay Demerit said they wouldn't egg him on, but why not? I'm not saying dive cheat and steal, but rattle him up and have him start cursing at the refs again. Pundits are saying that riling up Rooney will just encourage him to work even harder, but come on, its Wayne fucking Rooney; he couldn't try any harder than he does already.
Break Aaron Lennon's legs. But even if you do, the same might need to be done to Sean Wright-Phillips. I watched Lennon all season with Spurs and every left back he faced was absolutely terrified of him. He's got pace, trickery, finally can cross a decent ball, pace, and well, um, he's really really fast. Our aging Captain Blackmouth is going to have a torrid time and will need plenty of help from Clint Dempsey. Possibly switch Dempsey and Donovan since Landy D is much quicker. Another option is to bring in someone younger and faster, like Johnathan Bornst--haha seriously why is that guy on the team.
Which Dempsey will show up. We need his offense, his vision, and his Premiere League experience. We don't need him lost between the forwards and mids, jogging around half-heartedly. A game of this magnitude should bring out the best in Deuce, and we could see something like this or this. (And you thought I was gonna put the Juventus chip on there.)
Test their goalie. Between our posts is the rock-solid Tim Howard, but his opposite number will probably be super-veteran David "Calamity" James. If we can pressure him to do something like this, I certainly will be cheering the loudest when we score.
Sing this song: We need something besides the USA! chant that we do for everything American, and the vuvuzelas could be blowing for either team. If Sam's Army starts belting that number we could urge our boys on to victory.
Closing down shots. England has a plethora of players (Lampard, Gerrard, Rooney, Milner, Joe Cole) that will gladly find the top corner from 25 yards out if you let them. Timmy is a great keeper, but sometimes you just get beat. Lets make England work for their goals.
Center midfield. Bradley will have to be up to his usual high-intensity game, but who is pairing him? Torres brings some much needed ability on the ball and excellent distribution while also being a feisty tackler. Ricardo Clark and Maurice Edu bring some steel and size but they seem to disappear on offense.
Don't run out of steam. Altitude, weather, jet lag, blah blah blah, if the US runs themselves tired I can almost guarantee that Rooney will punish us in the 90th minute. Gooch is fresh of injury but doesn't look fit; against Australia Dempsey was subbed out and he looked dog tired, and that was in a game that had the pace and intensity of a penguin match. If we're going to play our normal high octane game then we cannot afford to stop.

Prediction? Hmmm. My mind says England since they have a better coach, better defenders, better midfielders, better forwards, and a better bench, but of course my heart is all for the USA. A loss wouldn't ruin our chances of progressing, but a point or three would certainly make the games against Slovenia and Algeria a lot less nerve-wrecking. A non-biased view has me saying England 2-1 winners, but I would sure love it if I was wrong.

Day 1 Thoughts

2010-06-11T15:59:00.000-07:00

A rousing first day of the 2010 FIFA World Cup which featured a spirited and surprising draw between South Africa and Mexico and scoreless match between Uruguay and France that was more intriguing than the scoreline suggests. All of it has left me wanting more. Luckily, it'll be three games a day for the next week and a half. Here are my thoughts, though, on today's action.

There were a multitude of passes gone too long, shots that flailed wildly above the crossbar, and free kicks that didn't seem to to reach their targets. I initially chalked it up to nerves, but it seems as if the infamous Jabulani ball is playing a factor early in the tournament. Those things just soar. There were several occasions where South Africa GK Itumeleng Khune (who earned Man of the Match honors in my eyes) cleared balls all the way to his counterpart Oscar Perez. The teams have been training with these balls, but as well all know, training is no replacement for match speed.
Speaking of Perez, you have to wonder whether we'll see him on Thursday for El Tri's match against France. He looked tentative in goal and came too far out of the box on several occasions. The guy who has been the regular in goal for Mexico, Memo Ochoa, has been recently sidelined by Javier Aguirre, but one goalkeeping error can cost you your place in the tournament, as David Seaman can attest.
Uruguay seemed pretty content to sit back and not allow France inside the box at all. Most of their scoring opportunities (if you can even call them that) came off the counterattack. Kudos to Las Charruas for limiting France to only a few legitimate chances. Yoann Gourcoff's beautiful free kick early in the 1st half was the closest Les Bleus came to filling the score sheet.
It seemed pretty clear that ESPN commentator Efan Ekoku had no idea of how the offsides rule works. His outrage that Carlos Vela's 41st minute "goal" was disallowed was without reason, considering that he was clearly offside. FIFA's law 11 states that an offensive player receiving a pass must be behind the next to last opponent not the next to last defender. The offsides rule can be confusing for some, but for one of ESPN's lead commentators to not know one of the basic tenets of the rule is embarassing.
Speaking of embarrassing ESPN commentators, Ruud Gullit adds next to nothing to the table. I honestly believe that all of the contributors to Ambitous Effort could provide more cogent analysis than the man who was a disaster managing at Los Angeles Galaxy. Stay in Holland, Ruud.
That being said, ESPN's coverage has been excellent so far, both in television and on the web. Not having the distracting BottomLine on during the game, full pregame and postgame shows, and having the whole shebang lead by the underrated Chris Fowler are all signs that the American media really is starting to take soccer seriously. We have come a long way from the days where many viewers (myself included) flocked to Univision for World Cup Coverage.

Looking ahead to tomorrow:
Three matches are on tap for tomorrow. Greece and South Korea should continue the theme of defense that we saw from France and Uruguay, with a 0-0 or 1-0 score being the likely result. Things should open up a bit more for the Argentina-Nigeria game in what will likely be the Argentines toughest test of the group stage. And of course, the game that we have been waiting for for more than six months. Jozy Altidore is fit to start and I would imagine that Edson Buddle will join him up top.

An exciting first day of the tournament for sure. It is going to be a glorious month.

Last Minute Predictions

2010-06-10T14:05:00.001-07:00

With the tournament starting tomorrow morning, I figured it was time to hurry up and get some predictions down on paper, or cyberspace in this case. Since everybody has already read too many predictions by now, I’ll just post mine, without explanations.

Group A:

Mexico

South Africa

France

Uruguay

Group B:

Argentina

Nigeria

South Korea

Greece

Group C:

England

USA

Slovenia

Algeria

Group D:

Germany

Serbia

Ghana

Australia

Group E:

Netherlands

Cameroon

Denmark

Japan

Group F:

Italy

Paraguay

Slovakia

New Zealand

Group G:

Brazil

Ivory Coast

Portugal

North Korea

Group H:

Spain

Chile

Switzerland

Honduras

Overall, I don’t really have any crazy predictions, but then again, if you watch a lot of soccer, you find that the highly ranked teams are that way for a reason, they have the best talent.

Without further ado, my predictions for the eliminations rounds are as follows:

Round of 16

Mexico over Nigeria

England over Serbia

Netherlands over Paraguay

Brazil over Chile

USA over Germany

Argentina over South Africa

Italy over Cameroon

Spain over Ivory Coast

Quarterfinals

England over Mexico

Brazil over Netherlands

Argentina over USA

Spain over Italy

Semi-Finals

Brazil over Netherlands

Spain over Argentina

Finals

Spain over Brazil 2-1

Not the most original prediction, but Spain simply have the best team, play the best style, and have the most confidence. I mean, did you see their 6-0 destruction of Poland on Tuesday? They will easily win their group, and score a ridiculous amount of goals in the process. The danger looms from their round of 16 match, where they will face a tough opponent at a very early stage of the tournament. As long as they survive that match, I see them cruising into the finals. As for Brazil, as much as I hate Dunga and his selections, he has them winning and winning and winning, and after all, this is a WC. And since I know Germany isn’t making the finals, that means Brazil is, and…. there’s almost no chance that I’m actually going to be right about any of this. But hey you never know what could happen, Zidane headbutt anyone?

If my predictions haven’t been exciting enough for you so far, get over it, but look forward to my foolishly and recklessly attempting to predict a Golden Boot winner and an all tournament team. If I even get half of them right, I’ll be as lucky as Jules and Vega in the burger scene in Pulp Fiction.

For the Golden Boot winner, I’m being conservative, and going with Spain striker David Villa for three reasons. The first is that Spain scores a ton of goals, and the matches against Chile and Honduras look to be goal fests. Villa simply doesn’t miss chances, and thus will easily score several goals in the group stages alone. The second reason is that I’m not worried about Fernando Torres stealing too many of his goals. El Nino is still working his way back to full fitness, and thus won’t play all 90 throughout the group stages. And even when the two star strikers play together, Villa still scores. That sounded interesting, anyways, reason numero tre is that I except Spain to go all the way, meaning that Villa will play more games than most and thus will score more goals, and yes I’m still not making any interesting predictions.

So, with no explanations, here is my World Cup XI

Goalkeeper: Iker Casillas-Spain

Defenders: Maicon-Brazil, Gerard Pique-Spain, Walter Samuel-Argentina

Midfield: Giovanni Dos Santos-Mexico, Wesley Sneijder-Netherlands, Kaka-Brazil, Xavi-Spain

Strikers: David Villa-Spain, Carlos Tevez-Argentina, Wayne Rooney-England

With Mexico playing tomorrow morning and the U.S. on Saturday, I thought the highlights of U.S.A.’s 2-0 victory over Mexico in the 2002 WC would be fitting to leave you with. Enjoy.

Dave's World Cup Predictions, Part II

2010-06-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

We are mere hours away from the moment we have been waiting for ever since Fabio Grosso nailed home the deciding penalty and Italy lifted the cup four years ago. But now its time for me to hammer out the rest of my picks for the finest sporting event in the galaxy.

Group E
1. Netherlands
2. Denmark
3. Cameroon
4. Japan

I think the Netherlands might be the most overlooked side in this whole tournament. A quick scan at the Oranje's 23-man roster reveals a plethora of offensive talent. Robin Van Persie is fully fit and recovered from injury and Wesley Sneijder is coming off an impressive treble campaign at Inter. And perhaps there is no hotter goal scorer on the planet right now than Arjen Robben. Of course, Robben is as fragile as my emotions after watching the "Married Life" montage from Up (did I just admit that over the internet?). The big question about ol' Arjen is not whether he will return from injury, but whether he will simply get hurt again. But it seems as if Holland is being overlooked, and with good reason, for the fact the man who has been their rock in goal for the past 15 years, Edwin Van Der Sar, is gone. There already were some questions with the backline, but the addition of Maarten Stekelenburg (26 caps for the dutch) is the big reason why many are doubtful that the Netherlands will lift their first Jules Rimet Trophy.

Speaking of overlooked teams, Morten Olsen's Danish Dynamite made thorough work of what was easily the most difficult qualifying group in the UEFA zone. A mix of veterans and youngsters has Denmark confident of its 2010 chances. Cameroon probably cannot share the same confidence as the Danes. With its superstar Samuel Eto'o threatening to leave the team on the eve of the tournament, the Indomitable Lions are a side in turmoil. As for Japan, it all rides on Keisuke Honda, but this Group E draw has done the Samurai Blue no favors.

Player to watch - Nicklas Bendtner, F, Denmark
Bendtner should be brimming with confidence following his fine season at Arsenal. Paired with veteran Jon Dahl Tomasson as the Danish strikeforce, it will be interesting to see how Bendtner will fare in a group where goals will be aplenty.

Group F
1. Italy
2. Paraguay
3. Slovakia
4. New Zealand

Italy really lucked out with what is easily the worst group in the tournament. Andrea Pirlo's recent calf injury might be an perilous omen for the defending champions; this team isn't getting any younger and it will look to its defense more than ever to rely on getting deep in the tournament. You can never count out Italy as long as Fabio Cannavaro and Gianluigi Buffon are in the starting XI.

Even with the loss of key striker Salvador Cabanas, Paraguay is a team that usually fare quite well in the group stages of this tournament. Slovakia has a solid midfield but not enough offensive or defensive firepower to do much. And for those who love the relegation battles in the Premiership every year, you have the race between New Zealand and North Korea for who will have the worst goal differential. Luckily, for the All Whites, their group is much kinder.

Player to watch - Ryan Nelsen, CB, New Zealand
Just making it this far is a huge accomplishment for the Kiwis, who some are saying are one of the worst teams ever to make it to the World Cup Finals. But at this stage, merely garnering a point would be cause for celebration in Wellington. If New Zealand is able to conjure up at least a draw, it'll be in large part Ryan Nelsen, the Blackburn centre back who is the heart of the Kiwi D.

Group G
1. Brazil
2. Ivory Coast
3. Portugal
4. North Korea

Native Brazilians have been bemoaning the lack of Joga Bonito in this version of A Selecao. The blame has mainly shifted to head man Dunga, but you can't argue with results; Brazil finished atop the CONMEBOL qualifying standings by a comfortable margin and even though it had a scare from the U.S., Brazil took home last year's Confederations Cup title. Even though some regard this as the "Group of Death", Brazil's second string would still easily win this group.

The hope of a nation are on the shoulders (or the forearm, perhaps?) of Didier Drogba. But Ivorians shouldn't forget that they still have the likes of Salomon Kalou, Emmanuel Eboue, and the Toure brothers. But if Drogba can't make it back (I think he will), it will be to Gervinho to pick up the slack up top.

Portugal is such a frustrating side. How does a team have this many quality players yet produce so few goals? It seems like at this point Portugal is gliding by on reputation alone.

There isn't too much to say for North Korea. I am half-kidding when I say that I hope that the players don't feel too hard the wrath of Kim Jong-Il when they return home after an 0-3 campaign where they give up possibly 10+ goals.

Player to watch - Cristiano Ronaldo, F, Portugal
It was as little as 12 months ago when the argument over who was the best player in the world was debatable. But after his four goal performance against Arsenal in the Champions League quarterfinals and two head-to-head victories along with a La Liga title, its clear that Messi is the man. One of the overlooked questions in this tournament is how the man who once ruled the soccer world will respond. After a disappointing Euro 2008 and UEFA qualifying turn, Cristiano Ronaldo's international reputation is in tatters. This World Cup will prove once and for all whether his name truly belongs with greats or whether he was just another flash in the pan.

Group H
1. Spain
2. Chile
3. Switzerland
4. Honduras

There is not much else to be said about Spain that hasn't already been written. This team is absolutely loaded and has roster that is as talented, if not more so, than Brazil. The questions about the mental makeup of the squad that has always dogged La Furia Roja was answered two years ago when they got the monkey off their back and finally won a freakin' tournament. The only issue that remains is what happens when Spain gets punched in the mouth first. They seemed absolutely stunned when the U.S. struck first in the Confed Cup semis (mind you, Spain's only loss in the last four years) and Sergio Ramos clearly was not focused on the goal that sealed the Yanks victory. But Espana has everything you could ask for in a team that can win it all. To me, they are the clear favorites.

Lead by Brian Billick's doppelganger in manager Marcelo Bielsa, Chile stormed through CONMEBOL qualifying. This is a really fun team to watch if you enjoy strong offensive tactics. Spain should be wary. Switzerland hasn't shown much to think that they will make it out of the group stage. Honduras is here simply by the grace of Jonathan Bornstein and without their main man Carlo Costly (a late scratch from the All-Name team), the Hondurans should take advantage of all of the sightseeing opportunities as their sojourn to South Africa will be a short one.

Player to watch - Humberto Suazo, F, Chile
I happened to catch the Chile-Brazil qualifying match when I was in South America last summer and really enjoyed watching Suazo do his thing. This guy was all over the field and it came to no surprise to me later when I found out his goal scoring rate for La Roja (18 goals in 42 appearances). He scored 6 goals in 17 appearances while on loan to Real Zaragoza, proving that he can score at a frequent rate in one of the world's toughest leagues as well.

Round of 16
France over South Korea
USA over Serbia
Netherlands over Brazil
Brazil over Chile
Argentina over Mexico
England over Germany
Denmark over Italy
Spain over Ivory Coast

Quarterfinals
USA over France
Netherlands over Brazil
England over Argentina
Spain over Denmark

Semifinals
Netherlands over USA
Spain over England

Final
Spain over Netherlands

I realize that I made some bold predictions that will most likely come back to haunt me, but keep in mind that the World Cup is hardly ever all chalk. That being said, enjoy the games and be sure to come back to Ambitious Effort for all of your World Cup Coverage needs, and perhaps even a live blog or two.

USA Looking Strong as Chelsea Stars Drop Like Flies

2010-06-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

At long last, the week of the World Cup opener is upon us. I for one cannot wait to see Bafana Bafana smack down on our southern neighbors in Fridays’ kickoff match; even if my mind tells me that a young and talented Mexico squad has a great chance to win Group A. And on Saturday, the most anticipated match in U.S. soccer history awaits, as the Yanks get a chance to take Rooney and Co. back to 1776. Once again, I seem to be getting a bit ahead of myself, so first let’s discuss recent friendly action.

The U.S. played Australia on Friday in a final tune-up for both squads. The result strongly favored the U.S. as they won 3-1 thanks to two goals from L.A. Galaxy striker Edson Buddle. His opening goal was particularly impressive, presenting his case to start next to Jozy Altidore, who sat out the match with a slight ankle sprain. While the U.S. did look strong, this seemed to be more of a result of the Soccerroo’s ineptitude than it did U.S. brilliance. We all remember the strong, Gus Hiddink led Australia squad that was narrowly edged out of the ‘06 WC by Italy on a late Totti penalty, but this current squad appears nowhere near as strong. In fact, they looked so weak that I wouldn’t consider Group D a group of death, as I don’t see where Australia will be able to pick up any points. The woeful pitch in Roodepoort did not help either squad, but neither did the air, as the altitude appeared to make the controversial Jabulani ball appear magical to multiple U.S. defenders, who saw more than one attempted header miss them completely. Overall, the match was a positive one for the U.S., particularly for Buddle. On the other hand, it was a big negative for Australia and Robbie Findley, who proved with two shocking misses that his speed is the only part of his game that belongs on this level.

In other news, the Chelsea curse is official, as John Obi Mikel’s injury makes it four of Chelsea’s stars (Drogba, Essien, and Ballack are the others) that are now out of the WC via injury. While they all have the consolation of pulling off the double with Chelsea this season, it is of little consequence to many that the star players of four nations all have significant injuries. When one considers that three of them are from African nations for the first ever WC in Africa, the injuries are particularly devastating. The only good news is that Drogba has already had surgery, and there is still a decent chance of his participation. Although there is little hope of him performing at the absolute peak of his powers, I eagerly await the first unfortunate defender he clubs in the head with his new cast. As far as their respective team’s chances, I think that Ghana will be affected the most in the tough Group D, and will be the only one of the affected four nations to not make it out of the group stages. With that being said, the injuries to Ballack and Drogba eliminate whatever slim chance Germany and the Ivory Coast had of winning the entire thing.

The other significant injury thus far has been to one of my least favorite players, the leering Rio Ferdinand. His England team played Monday against local squad Platinum Stars, and was as unimpressive as one can be in a 3-0 win. This could be seen as good or bad news for the U.S., as England’s struggles against such a weak side show some real weaknesses, yet also could be the catalyst that will anger England and encourage them to play their best football on Saturday.

Monday also saw favorite Brazil demolish Tanzania 5-1, with two goals coming from Robinho and Ramires respectively. The good news? These ridiculous friendlies against inferior opposition are almost over, and the real games begin early on Friday. And no, it’s not too early to set your DVR for the 6:30 AM kickoff Friday morning.

For those who haven't seen the highlights of the U.S.A.-Australia match, enjoy and dream about the goals flying in on Saturday.

Dave's World Cup Predictions, Part I

2010-06-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

We are so goddamn close. We are less than a week away from the greatest sporting spectacle on earth. We are just hours away from Mexico's first red card against Bafana Bafana. We are salivating.

With all that being said, time is running out to make predictions and I wanted to make sure I wanted to chisel mine in the proverbial stone that is Blogspot. Enough with this introduction chicanery, lets get to it.

Group A
1. France
2. Mexico
3. Uruguay
4. South Africa

This was an agonizing group to sort through. I still am not sure how things are going to shake out here. The one thing I will guarantee is that France will make it out of the group. Believe me, I am well aware that Crazy Ray is insane and the players hate him, but I can't believe how down people are on Les Bleus. I am not saying that France will go deep in the tournament, but they have too much talent not to make it out of the first round, even though this looks to be the most competitive group.

Speaking of self-combusting, Mexico has a load of impressive young talent, but the combination of the over-reliance on an aging Cuauhtémoc Blano, the unreliability of Javier Aguirre (shaky/shady managing situations is a recurring theme in this tournament), and typical unfocused play of El Tri will be the downfill of this group.

I really, really wanted to pick South Africa to make it out of Group A and I won't be stunned if they do. There really is something to be said about home field advantage at the World Cup to make up, but this is the weakest Bafana Bafana squad since FIFA let South Africa back into competitive football in the early '90s.

Player to watch - Hugo Lloris, GK, France

Lloris is, in my opinion, the best young keeper in the world and is coming off an impressive season at Lyon . France has struggled scoring goals in the group stage the last two go rounds (0 in '02, 3 in '06), so the 23 year-old needs to come up big if France has any shot to go through.

Group B
1. Argentina
2. South Korea
3. Nigeria
4. Greece

Argentina might be the most interesting side in this tournament. An incredible wealth of talent, including the guy who has received the torch from Zidane as the most iconic soccer player in the world. But how on earth is Maradona coaching this team? Some soccer journos have said Argentina has a very good shot to lift the cup, but after reading this recent SI piece on Messi which indicated that Argentina's veteran players are going over Maradona's in organizing tactics, I just cannot picture a scenario where Argentina will win it all.

As for the rest of the group, I think the loss of John Obi Mikel is too much for Nigeria. South Korea is a highly organized side that will kill you with its discipline. I've made it clear in the past how much I loathe Greece and the way they play football. 2004 is looking more and more like a fluke. Their best chance at points is against Nigeria on June 17.

Player to watch - Lionel Messi, F, Argentia
I took the easy way out and chose Messi as my player to watch for Group B. Messi has recently been compared to, and deservedly so, to Pele and Maradona, the grandmasters of the game. Lio may have his Champions League and La Liga Titles and his World Player of the Year awards, but he doesn't have what Pele and Maradona have: a World Cup title. Now he has at least one, probably two more cups to compete in, but Messi's performance in this tournament will go a long way to determining whether he truly ranks up with the greats.

Group C
1. United States
2. England
3. Algeria
4. Slovenia

Call me a homer or an optimist, but I really do think that the U.S. will beat England. USMNT always plays up to their opponents, no matter their ranking, and the players who will need to be key in that game (Howard, Dempsey, Donovan) have proved themselves against the opposition. But the U.S. always has at least one dud in the group stage (vs. Iran in '98, vs. Poland in '02, vs. Czech Rep. in '06), so I think they'll draw with Algeria, but still beat Slovenia to stay on top of the group with 7 points. The U.S. game will be wake up call for the Three Lions and they should stroll with the rest of the group.

Algeria and Slovenia are not to be taken lightly, however. Slovenia's back line, in particular, frightens me. Holding a Guus Hiddink team scoreless over two critical matches and giving up only 4 goals in all of qualifying is no light feat.

Player to watch - Ledley King, CB, England
With the injury to Rio Ferdinand, King will be the man England looks to at the center of the back line. Despite his relatively low number of caps, King proved himself well in the exhibition with Mexico last week, scoring in a 3-1 victory.

Group D
1. Germany
2. Serbia
3. Ghana
4. Australia

It is pretty amazing to think that Germany has made it to at least the quarterfinals in every tournament its entered. Despite some rough seasons at the club level for Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski, those guys seem to save their best for when they suit up for Die Mannschaft.

Injuries to key players has been a notable theme for some of the tournament's most promising teams and Ghana is no exception. The loss of Michael Essien is a huge blow for both tactical and morale purposes, but Ghana still has a promising young core. That being said, I think just might be a little too inexperienced for this go-round. However, four years from now we'll be talking about Ghana as a dark horse to go deep in Brazil 2014.

I don't place a lot of stock in these World Cup warm-up exhibition matches, but Australia did not show much promise in their 3-1 loss to the U.S. on Saturday. If I were a Socceroo supporter, I would have serious concerns about the back line. Edson Buddle's second goal as well the Herculez Gomez goal were the result of mediocre marking. Poor Mark Schwarzer...

Player to watch - Nikola Zigic, F, Serbia
Group G is widely known as the superstar group, but in my eyes, Group D is the group of death. Serbia's defensive prowess is well documented, so its critical that Birmingham City's Zigic lines the score sheet. Goal differential will determine who goes through in the group

That's it for now. I'll be posting the rest of my group predictions as well as how I think the knockout stage will shake out sometime this week. But I'll leave you kids with one of my favorite things about sports....crazy names.

2010 World Cup All-Name XI
GK: Boubacar Barry, Ivory Coast
D: Danny Shittu, Nigeria
D: Rafik Halliche, Algeria
D: Gäetan Bong, Cameroon
D: Siboniso Gaza, South Africa
MF: MacBeth Sibaya, South Africa
MF: Surprise Moriri, South Africa
MF: Ryad Boudebouz, Algeria
MF: Xherdan Shaqiri, Switzerland
F: Prince Tagoe, Ghana
F: Herculez Gomez, USA
Coach: Pim Verbeek, Australia

World Cup News and Notes

2010-06-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

With the World Cup now just eight short days away, I realized its time for me to stop being lazy and start posting some new stuff. For starters, the U.S. team is all settled in their compound/hotel in South Africa, and have had no injury setbacks thus far. They play Australia on Saturday in nearby Roodepoort. Hopefully the match against the Soccerroos will provide a solid final tuneup yet will keep both teams safe from injury so close to the start of the tournament.

In other news, some of you might be wondering why there had been little news from powerhouse Brazil other than rumors of a Kaka-Felipe Melo feud. This has been because Dunga has never wavered from his controversial 23 man squad, and the team had yet to play a friendly, that is until today, when the Selacao faced off with Zimbabwe. It was perhaps not a huge surprise that Brazil got off to a slow start, but it was nevertheless alarming to see Zimbabwe dominate for the opening half hour and come close to scoring several times. Brazil finally scored in the 42^nd minute thanks to a smashing free kick from left wing back Michel Bastos, which was later followed by two more spectacular goals that proved that joga bonito is still alive and well within the Brazilian squad. Highlights and even the entire match can be viewed on espn3.com, the goals are well worth a look.

In addition to the Brazilians, there has been some recent news from the defending campioni del mundo, Italia. To the surprise of many, coach Marcello Lippi omitted the young American/Italian striker Giuseppe Rossi from his final 23 man roster, causing the inevitable frustrated sigh from many American fans who are thinking that he could be the star of the U.S. team in South Africa, instead of watching the games from his couch. Remember however, that Rossi is only 23, and thus will have plenty of future opportunities to star for the Azzuri. And in case you were wondering who made the team over him, the names include Italian striker regulars such as Alberto Gilardino and Antonio Di Natale, as well as Napoli forward Fabio Quagliarella, who has proven he knows how to strike a football.

The other news from Italia regards their captain and MVP of the 2006 WC, Fabio Cannavaro. After having his contract not renewed by Juventus, the 36 year old defender transferred to, wait on it….Al Ahli. What??? Exactly. The club is based in Dubai, and signed Cannavaro to a two year deal. I find this news both hilarious (as a owner of a Cannavaro jersey) and sad, as an Azzuri fan. Their star defender for the World Cup just signed with a Middle Eastern team, one of the surest signs in sports that ones skills are washed up. While I’m sure he’s making good money, the fact that he’s not finishing his career at his hometown club of Napoli to play alongside his brother Paolo is the final nail in the coffin for any who claim that Cannavaro is still an elite defender. I hope he proves me wrong by regaining his 2006 form in a week, but it’s not looking good for Italy once one looks past their easy Group F.

USA v Czech

2010-05-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

So we lost 4-2, which means we aren't gonna do well in the WC. Except that the score mattered this game as much as Drew Carey says it does on Who's Line is it Anyway?. Many players made a good case for themselves, while others may need to start making summer vacation plans. And with only some players only getting one half of playing time, there was not a lot of time to do it:

FIRST HALF

Getting on that plane:

Maurice Edu: Scored a goal thanks to Petr Cech's African goalie impression that left no question as to why over half the goals Chelsea conceded this season were off of set pieces. But Edu was also industrial on defense and did a good job on offense of not being too cautious but still being enterprising.

Stuart Holden: Often Cherundolo would dribble into him, bringing with him three defenders before playing a 6 yard pass to an already marked Holden. Stu did a good job getting out of those situations, and made some runs during the game that weren't just straight down the wing. Good to see him back after the broken fibula.

Brad Guzan: Good to know your back up keeper is ready to step up and play well, even with such a porous defense. Must be taking notes at Aston Villa from one of the best.

Clarence Goodson: Goodson's atheleticism and good anticipation were evident, and he looked more comfortable on his feet than Gooch did. A solid performance from the IK Start halfback.

Needs a second look:

Oguchi Onyewu: Hard to make a verdict on a guy making his first appearance in 7 months, but he definitely looked a step behind and we knew he wouldn't finish the full 90. On the first Czech goal, Gooch jumped as high as Vlade Divac on the attempted header.

Jose Francisco Torres: Didn't see much of the ball, but has shown past spurts of offensive creativity and might not be a bad sub to sit behind the strikers. Needs to work on making a bigger impact on games.

Edson Buddle: Well at least he did better than Eddie Johnson. And didn't scuff any chances.

Probably on a different plane:

Eddie Johnson: Yeah Bob Bradley will probably take Eddie, but he was nearly nonexistent in the game. Torres has some cool magic tricks but Eddie can put on a USA jersey and disappear. A few times we would win possession in an advanced position and instead of trying to use his speed and get behind the defense, Johnson slowed up and dropped behind whichever midfielder had gotten the ball. I mean, come on!

Jonathan Bornstein: He really likes to get forward, just like England's Glen Johnson. The only other thing they have in common is an inability to defend, because Johnson also boasts skills, speed, touch, creativity, and doesn't give the ball away, unlike Johnny B. But at least the Hondurans love Bornstein.

Meanwhile, Deuce, Timmy, Landy D, Bradley Jr and Carlos Blackmouth looked good in the press box in their Nike track suits, with Donovan trying to barter with Bocanegra for his burger.

SECOND HALF:

I heard Hercules Gomez scored or something. Thats a good way to punch your ticket. I say "I heard" because my intended halftime nap lasted till the 87th minute.

All in all, this leaves me looking forward to Turkey and seeing who Bradley puts out there. Today the squad gets cut down to 23 men, and its hard no know whats going on behind those icy blue eyes of his. Just, please, please don't let Connor Casey make the squad.

England vs Mexico: What we learned

2010-05-24T15:07:00.001-07:00

Today at Wembley skating-rink, our June 12th opponents England defeated our over-the-border "friends" Mexico 3-1. I say "friends" the way Jaap Stam and Patrick Viera are "friends."
While this was only a WC warm-up and neither team featured what will be their opening day squad, we can take a few things from the game:

ENGLAND

Theo Walcott is extremely fast and can run around defenders but has the composure of a newborn giraffe in front of goal. (Wait, we already knew that.)
Glen Johnson is fantastic going forward but terrible playing defense, which is sort of his position. In fact, that is his position: defender. (Okay we knew that one too)
England is very susceptible to quick counter attacks up the middle (granted King started over Terry today for experimental purposes, but neither them nor Ferdinand or Carragher are the fastest players on the pitch), which bodes well for our boys Jozy, Deuce, and Landy D.
Fabio Capello will never, ever smile.
Crouchie is an ever-present nuisance on crosses and set pieces-- he assisted King for the first goal and used his height to blunder in the second. However, a match-fit Onyewu is only three inches shorter but three times blacker and therefore can jump three times higher. Gooch can easily nullify England's robot with a little bit of Beastmode.

MEXICO

I used to think that Mexico just went in late to headers and challenges against the USA cause they hated us, but now I see its just cause they're dirty.
Dos Santos is actually really, really good but far from the finished product.
Mexico will continue to play Cuauhtemoc Blanco, no matter how fat and old he gets.
They have virtually no aerial threat and will struggle against a compressed, composed defense once it has settled down (France).
Their fans are annoying (Yet another one we already knew) and were shouting Ole's when El Tricolor was passing around after the opening kickoff
They don't really care about defending in a friendly (see Johnson goal video above) and would rather get yellow cards for fouling Walcott and Lennon as they speed by than try and defend.

I hope you took good notes cause there is going to be a test on this information later. Come back tomorrow after the USMNT face off against the Czechs at Rentschler Field for more ground-breaking analysis.

Regular toilets not good enough for Maradona

2010-05-24T11:52:00.001-07:00

Maradona's face after using the bidet.

Argentina coach Diego Maradona has requested an expensive renovation of his bathrooms at the Argentina WC base camp in Pretoria. Apparently regular toilets are not enough for Maradona and two high-end bidets have been installed. As Wikipedia puts it, a bidet "washes and cleans the genetalia, perineum, inner buttocks, and anus." So Diego likes to have water shot up his ass and balls after he goes potty. Interesting.

So while Maradona's bathroom habits seem unusual, what is even more ridiculous is that his private suite has two bathrooms. Two bathrooms, one coach, which leaves us wondering WTF mate?! Maybe one is for waste excretion and one for coke usage and bidets make good nose cleaners. You know I couldn't get through a Maradona article without reference to his favorite white powder.

These aren't no ordinary bidets though; a man who wipes with the Hand of God needs the assistance of front and rear water nozzles, plus the luxuries of a heated seat and a warm-air blow-dryer. I must be old fashioned, but my toilet accessories are the comics for reading and some Charmin Ultra.

Also in the Daily Mail article are some interesting tid-bits about some teams requirements:

Argentina has some pretty specific food demands
Brasil requires their pool be maintained at exactly 32 C (89.6 F)
Mexico has their own priests for service. No word on if the priests are bringing their own little boys or tapping into the resources of the locals.
The Italians are bringing their own pasta from Rome (well, duh!)
New Zealand wants golf lessons for the All Whites
Those greedy Slovakians have requested not one, but two ping pong tables and an electronic dart board. They're so spoiled they can't even score their own darts games.

But none of them will have underparts as clean as Maradona's.

United States friendlies

2010-05-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

The USMNT has lined up three friendlies ahead of their June 12th opening World Cup match against England all in an effort to help Coach Bradley make some cuts and galvanize the rest of the team.

Czech Republic, in Connecticut

A good opponent to test many of the on-the-fence guys. The Czechs beat us 3-0 back in 2006 in Germany, but this WC failed to qualify behind Slovakia and our Group C opponents Slovenia. (The Czechs tied Slovenia nil-nil and beat them one-nil, which of course means absolutely nothing.)

Featuring for the Czechs is their aptly named goalkeeper Petr Cech; the 6'5" Chelsea custodian will be a true test for our boys, as it takes a world-class finish to beat a world-class keeper. Missing for the Czechs is Rosicky (who we "fondly" remember for these goals against us), Milan Baros, and the recently retired golden locks of Pavel Nedved.

This result of this game is superfluous. More important is for our questionable players (Buddle) to show what they're made of. Also it is a chance for our guys to finally get some games in as a full squad, the first time since our lose in Amsterdam to the Dutch.

Turkey, in Pennsylvania

While the Turks are a fantastic WC warm-up opponent, the location of the game is, to me, dumb. The USMNT has no problem playing at home when the stands are full of red, white, and blue. We struggle outside our borders when the crowds are raw, wild, and full of boos, but I digress.

The Turks somehow didn't qualify behind Spain, and were 4 points behind second placed Bosnia-Herzegovenia ( a country named because Miss Herzegovnia did not want to relinquish her last name).

However, the Turks are very good. They beat the Czechs yesterday 2-1 at Red Bull Arena. They feature Bayern's Altintop, Valencia's Mehmet Topal, Stoke's poacher Tuncay and the highly rated youngster of Galatasaray, Arda Truan. Their biggest asset is their unity as a core. Turkey's chemistry makes them very difficult to break down and their high energy and tenacity makes possession very difficult. This game will be good practice for the likes of Slovenia and Algeria.

Australia, in Johannesburg

Last up are the Aussies, who we will hit the pitch with in our last game before facing England. I like that the game will give us a taste of South Africa which we haven't had since last summer's surprising run to the Confederation Cup finals.

Australia are fast and physical and never run out of steam. They boast loads of talent, with many players featuring in the Premiership: Tim Cahill (Everton), Vince Grella and Brett Emerton (Blackburn), and keeper Mark Schwarzer (Fulham). They also have the veterans Lucas Neill and former Leeds and Liverpool winger Harry Kewell, both now playing for Galatasaray.

The Aussies will be a fantastic warm-up for England. Though they are not as good, we will need to show the same ability defending and will not be able to rely on our American athleticism and conditioning. A good result will be important to boost our confidence ahead of our June 12th kickoff.

Only three games to oil our gears and get the engines going seems sparse, but great seasons from Deuce, Timmy, and Landy D to name a few have me psyched up for our Cup chances. And if thats not enough, maybe this is:

Showdown at the Bernabeu

2010-05-21T16:25:00.000-07:00

The moment we've been waiting for since the group stages commenced in in mid-September is now upon us. Tomorrow two teams will fight for their own trebles. In Germany, Bayern Munich has already captured the Bundesliga and the DFB Pokal, while their Italian opponents Internazionale Milan have seized their Serie A scudetto and the Copa Italia.

Saturday's premier European final has more plot lines than The Lord of Rings. The Bavarian's coach, Louis Van Gaal, was mentor to the Italian's self-proclaimed Special One--Jose Mourinho. (Mourinho has yet to claim his crown yet.)

Both finalists knocked out one of last year's finalists. Bayern came from behind at Old Trafford to knock out Manchester United in the quarterfinals; Inter parked the bus at Camp Nou and staved off attack after attack from holders Barcelona in the semifinals.

Both teams are extremely disciplined when it comes to getting men behind the ball on defense. Between them they boast experienced defenders, loads of talent in the midfield, and tricky, pacey strikers, all to be expected for finalists of the world's most elite club tournament.

Many people expect Bayern to be unable to break down Inter's stalwart defending, the reasoning being that if Barca couldn't with their delectable passing, no one could. However, Bayern posses a threat that Barcelona's front line of Pedro, Bojan, and Messi doesn't have: aerial ability. So if Inter is willing to give up the flanks in order to protect the middle, Lahm, Altintop, and Robben will be ready and willing to whip balls into the middle for Olic, Schweinsteiger or Mueller to head on to goal. If Inter tries to take away the wings, they expose themselves and the Bavarian midfield trio is more than capable of creating chances.

Ribery may be out with red card suspension and busy looking for underage hookers, but Inter always must be wary of Robben doing this or this.

At the other end of the pitch, Baryern will need to limit the defensive mistakes such as against Man United, and will need Van Bommel to keep tabs on his Dutch counterpart Sneijder and limit his influence on the game.

All said and done, this should be a close one, and I say Bayern wins 2-1.

And if they go to penalties, we know who will win that. Those typical Germans.

Kickoff is at 11.45 PST on FOX. That's right, mainstream FOX is showing the Champions League. And who said soccer would never become popular in the states.

David Villa to Barca

2010-05-20T00:12:00.000-07:00

Well the rumors are true; Spanish international David Villa will be moving from Valencia to Barca this summer for a reported £34.2 million. All thats left is to complete a medical for the player and his soul patch. Villa's departure has been a long time coming thanks to Valencia's public financial difficulties, but the question was always where.

Honestly, I can't see Villa scoring less than 25 goals in La Liga alone for Barca, barring injury. He is an absolutely clinical finisher, boasting bucket loads of pace and two dominant legs. (As a child, when his right leg was in a cast his father forced him to practice with his left.) Villa makes extremely intelligent runs and is quick to finish, usually needing only one or two touches. He will thrive on the service provided by Xavi, Iniesta, Messi and Co, and is one to return the favor.

Relatively, David Villa has been flying under the radar as a one man strike force. Since the 05/06 season, Villa has notched 108 goals in season play (averaging over 20 a season). Compare this for the same time period to CR9 (101 goals), Eto'o (95), Diego Forlan (95), Luca Toni (90, but if taken from 04/05 to 08/09 Luca has tallied 105), Messi (87), Torres (83), Rooney (80), Zlatan (80), Drogba (74), and Henry (72). Huntelaar has managed 111 goals in those five season, but 90 of those were netted in the Dutch Eridevisie, where scoring butloads of goals isnt exactly the hardest thing. David Villa is a consistent goal-scoring machine, yet still found time to provide 26 assists in the same period.

Villa at Barca is a perfect match. He can play as a lone striker or out wide, or even behind a front striker. He'll fit wonderfully into the Catalan giant's 4-3-3, but that leaves us with one question: where will Zlatan Ibrahimovic go?

Joe Cole better than Messi and CR9

2010-05-19T23:41:00.000-07:00

Or so says England counterpart Steven Gerrard:

"Joe Cole does some amazing stuff in training. He's as good as Messi or Ronaldo on the ball, and he'll give any player a run for their money when it comes to tricks."

Pretty big words from Stevie G, but then again, I've done some mazy Messi runs to goal and hit dipping Ronaldo free kicks in practice. Somebody ought a tell Bob Bradley to take me to South Africa.

Stevie G and J Cole enjoying a game of freeze tag.